Who cares about your dumb tennis match? {Real Housewives of NYC}

April 2, 2009

Hey Bravo—no one cares about this tennis match!  This season has plenty of backhanded comments, slices, and foot

Mario "Too Tan For Primetime" Singer

Mario "Too Tan For Primetime" Singer

(in mouth) faults each week, so why make us watch an actual tennis match?  I think Mario wants a platform to show his skills, and frankly, I’d prefer he just continue his tanning and trash talking.  Perhaps Mario is jealous that Simon has secured himself Bravolebrtity status, ironically, thanks in part to Ramona, who last season came completely unglued when Simon showed up at a “girl’s night.”

Kelly Bensimon's uniform is boots and a too short dress: More childish than chic

Kelly Bensimon's uniform is boots and a too short dress: More childish than chic

My take on Kelly is that Kelly does not see herself as a Bravolebrity; her fame or infamy stems from a source greater than Reality TV.  But come on Kelly, even Paris Hilton, an honest to goodness NY socialite, didn’t turn her nose up at Reality TV.  Kelly reminds me of the quintessential beautiful- person- popular- girl in high school who no one dared “call out” or question.  Kelly should have consulted her publicist as to how to deal with Bethany because obviously Kelly revealed herself to be mean and not too bright.

On another note–the Bravo TV Blogs reveal more backstory for viewers who want more than the “edited for dramatic impact” moments.  The funniest Blog this week is Andy Cohen’s, who finally got his mom to watch an episode with him.

Also today I heard that LuAnn and “The Count” have separated.  The cast is set to tape the “Reunion Special” soon so we’ll see how she is doing.  Hopefully, she’ll get to keep her title like the Dutchess of York.

PJ

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Tamra Barney takes out the trash {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

January 14, 2009

Viewers were surely annoyed that they had to wait a half hour before getting to the “Drunk Gretchen” scene at Tamra’s so called formal dinner party, a party so embarrassingly distasteful, I thought the hired chef, Brian Malarkey, might torch the entire table with his fire-themed deserts.  The big storyline “Tamra gets Gretchen drunk to bring out Gretchen’s dark side,” apparently backfired on Tamra when Gretchen and Tamra’s son, Ryan, looked like they were

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

going to “hook up.”  Ironically, Tamra stated in an interview segment that a person’s actions are more important to her than what a person says.  She was referring to Gretchen, but Tamra might have well been looking in a mirror. Gretchen has no one to blame but herself for drinking too much Tequila, but Tamra kept ordering her son to bring Gretchen shot after shot as well as encouraging everyone else to go along with her scheme.  The most entertaining part of this whole fiasco was that the other housewives looked mortified at what was happening.  It was clear that none of them wanted to be there; Jeana was the only one who made any attempt to socialize, and the husbands just sat back and watched as if they had front row seats to the WWE.

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

The men reminded me of the husbands from The Real Housewives of Atlanta who sat back at numerous dinner parties and watched their alpha wives mark their territory. Bottom line:  Tequila doesn’t lead to bad behavior, Tamra Barney does: she embarrassed herself, her guests, her etiquette teacher, the chef, her husband and his new Tequila brand business venture, and me—for admitting I watch this show.  Calling her son a “manwhore” didn’t help either, and hopefully that phrase will not become Ryan’s latest tattoo.  The funniest line from the show, however, did come from a tipsy Gretchen: I have big boobs, I con do what I want. Click here for Bravo TV’s rogue’s gallery of photos.

PJ

P.S. As of today, Vicki is the only housewife to write in about last night’s episode:

I had a great time at Tamra’s dinner party. It was fun getting all dressed up for a formal party at home instead of going out to a restaurant. All of our homes are so beautiful and I feel we don’t spend as much time in them as we should. It was amazing having Chef Brian Malarkey cook for us. It was overwhelming to watch how much work goes into the preparations for each dish. I have been to his restaurant Oceanaire in San Diego a few times, so it was nice to experience his menu and

Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki Gunvalson

talent at Tamra’s.

The only reason I made the comment at dinner about Lynne being so laid back was because I have never been around anyone like her before. It seems like nothing would ever bother her at all, and it doesn’t seem like she has a care in the world. Coming from me, Ms. Type-A Personality, it is nice to see someone with that level of calmness.

Yeah, right.  (I guess she forgot about almost vomiting over the oyster appetizers).


Lauri leaves Bravo’s O.C. {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

December 10, 2008
Lauri Waring Peterson is the newest ex-housewife

Lauri Waring Peterson is the newest ex-housewife

Lauri Waring aka,”Mrs. George Peterson,” has left The Real Housewives of Orange County in the middle of the fourth season.  Bravo TV had preempted this episode as “shocking,” but Lauri exited quietly to spend more time with her family.  From the previews, I was expecting Vicki to have a hissy fit and leave the show amid some kind of scandal, but that didn’t happen.

I think Lauri’s reasons for leaving Housewives are similar to Tammy Knickerbocker’s; she and her kids need time to deal with things privately.  She said that she hopes she doesn’t offend anybody by leaving, but why would she?  Lauri has been an easy target of criticism by fans of the show, yet any negative remarks probably stemmed from jealousy.

Vicki, Quinn (a one season housewife) and Lauri at last season's cocktail party

Vicki, Quinn (a one season housewife) and Lauri at last season's cocktail party

Even during the first season Vicki remarked that it is easy to be jealous of Lauri because Lauri is prettier, skinnier, and has bigger boobs.  But Vikki goes on to say, “I’m rooting for her..I just want her to succeed in life.”  At the opening of the first season, Lauri had been working for Vicki’s insurance company for 3 years.  Newly divorced and living outside the gates in a townhouse, Lauri said she didn’t need to work when she was married, but now she had to work to support her family.  We all could see that Lauri wasn’t happy with her change in lifestyle, especially when everyone around her seemed living on easy street.  But I had to give her credit for making the best of her situation, and striving to be a good parent to her less than perfect kids, and many viewers could relate to  Lauri’s day to day adversities.  But when Lari met her soon to be husband, real estate developer, George Peterson, the collective claws came out and Lari was labeled a “gold digger.”

This photo is from "georgeandlauri.com"

This photo is from "georgeandlauri.com"

Lauri’s wedding was beautiful, almost dreamlike in atmosphere, and George remained laid back and in love throughout.   Their married life seemed so serene…I would love to stop over to Georges unpretentiously decorated house for ice tea and prune roses with Lauri before heading out their ranch to ride horses.  I think fans were waiting for change in Lauri, and she has changed a little bit.  On the first episode of this season, while she was eating dinner with George at The St. Regis and calling him “Babe” every other breath, she said that she didn’t want to go to Dubai for their honeymoon because it was “too commercial.”  (Gag)  The titanium credit card (another gift from George) was another vapid moment.

However, Lauri has remained true to herself: honest, humble, strong, beautiful, and in my opinion, the one of the more REAL housewives in  Bravo’s  Housewives series.  I will miss her and I wish her all the best with her family.

PJ


Why is Kenley still sewing? {Project Runway}

September 25, 2008

I more than a little bit baffled as to why Kenley was not sent home over Suade on last night’s episode of Project Runway.  Yes, Suade has been in the bottom two twice, but then Kelli was sent home (in my opinion, too early) without having been the bottom two before the night she was “outed.”  OK Suade’s outfit was “boring,” for a “Rock and Roll” aesthetic, but it was well sewn, and an outfit that is “well executed” (in Nina Garcia’s words) usually wins over the poorly sewn garment.  Remember when Angela kessler’s “streetwalker” (according to guest judge, Ivanka Trump) creation beat out Katherine Gerdes’s simple green dress during the man’s best friend challenge on Season Three?  If Vera Wang hadn’t raved about Angela’s skirt being “beautifully sewn,”  I think Angela would have been out that evening.  And then there was Santino Rice’s dog-doo brown jump suit he had made for Kara Janx.  Although the sleeve fell apart at the shoulder on stage, the guest judge thought the

Dont get snarky with Tim!

Don't get "snarky" with Tim!

outfit was original.  But last night, guest judge L L Cool J didn’t get Kenley’s idea of hip-hop at all, so what saved her? Kenley showed that she can not sew a pair of pants; she even said in her interview that her line is “dresses.”  Kenley does Kenley-type clothes well, but the same could be said for the signature looks of several eliminated designers: Stella and her “leatha,” Terri and her pant-suit separates, Keith and his “shredded wear.”  A finalist on Project Runway should be able to versify his or her signature look in a runway collection.  I don’t think Kenley is headed in that direction–and being the first designer on Project Runway to make Tim Gunn feel “snarky” doesn’t help, either.  I can hear Blayne shouting from a tanning booth in Yakima, WA: “Kenley’s just snarklishous!”  Kenely did look amazing as a pop-star last night; her outfit overshadowed her defensive attitude.  Maybe that’s why she still sewing.

PJ


Sandra Bernhard adds origionality to judges’ comments {Project Runway}

August 1, 2008

Comedian/actress/author Sandra Bernhard was the guest judge on Project Runway this week. Her comment on Terri’s outfit was one of the most original I’ve ever heard. She looks like she could pull out a knife and say, ‘I’m going to cut you!’ ‘This was made all the more funny when Michael Kors said that she looks like a girl you want to meet. It was a nice break from the usual: It does not look finished to me, it is not well executed, it’s chic looking, I would wear that, she knows how to dress a woman…

Why wasn’t Blayne in the bottom three? His dress looked like a black shift with blobs of Play-Doh stuck on it. It wasn’t as bad as Emily’s Carmen Miranda dress, but it was a close cousin! Maybe they kept Blayne because he taught Tim Gunn how to say, “Holla to your boy.

I thought Leanne’s black dress was amazing, and I preferred it to Kenley’s outfit. Kenley reminds me of Season 3’s Ulie with her love of prints!

PJ


Future network change looms over Project Runway

July 25, 2008
I miss the more serene Heidi

I miss the more serene Heidi

The first two episodes of Season Five of Project Runway are over and already Heidi Klum looks a little tired. The usual perky, fashionably dressed and impeccably styled host and executive producer appears a little too thin and stressed out. Season 5 has a trying-too-hard-to-live-up-to-past-season’s vibe; the format is the same, but you can tell things have changed. This will be the last season aired on Bravo TV. Season 6 will be aired on the Lifetime Network and produced in LA (supposedly the geographical change works out better for Klum). Will the New York based supporting cast follow Klum? I can’t imagine Project Runway without Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, or especially Tim Gunn. Will the ultimate prize still be a runway show at Bryant Park? NYC is the perfect backdrop for fashion designers–can LA live up to it? I would love to see previous LA based designers Kara Saun, Santino Rice, and Jeffery Sebelia make appearances. What I’m afraid of is that the show will pander to the Red Carpet culture rather than fashion editors. Also, isn’t Lifetime “television for women?” Since when did Project Runway become a show “for women?”

As for the first two episodes: no one has stepped forward as the official a-hole, yet. In my opinion, two talented designers have been sent home already. I really thought Blayne would be the first one out with his walking Depends Undergarment creation, but Blayne is a “character.” He reminds me of Kato Kaelin’s gay cousin. In the last episode he called Heidi “Darth Vader” because she dressed in black. (Heidi had called Blayne’s diaper-chic “butt ugly”–ouch). But then Blayne changed his mind and called Heidi “Darth-licious” in a manner that evoked the spirit of the great Christian Siriano. Also, guest judge Natalie Portman plugged her new vegan shoe line. I’ve been buying “vegan shoes” for years at Payless. I’m so ahead of my time.

Kato or Blayne?

Kato or Blayne?

PJ


Bravo’s A List Award Show deserves an “F”

June 13, 2008

Aside from the Project Runway segment, last night’s A List Awards on Bravo TV were LAME!  I always thought of Bravo TV to be more on the high end of the reality TV genre in terms of programing, but last night they stooped lower than needed with such categories as “Rear of the Year.”  Kathy Griffin’s material was watered down so much that her bawdy monologues seemed out of place; it seemed as if Kathy was trying to bring Btavo TV’s “Watch What Happens” shows up to A List standards, when in my opinion, they were already there.  The Real Housewives of Orange County and NYC made an appearance on stage as presenters, but they didn’t know do so well reading the teleprompter.   These women are so funny when they are just being themselves, so why ruin it by giving them a script?  The producers missed an opportunity to have us listen in on them backstage.  The lesson learned here is that a show written for reality TV stars doesn’t work.

PJ

 


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