Tamra Barney takes out the trash {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

January 14, 2009

Viewers were surely annoyed that they had to wait a half hour before getting to the “Drunk Gretchen” scene at Tamra’s so called formal dinner party, a party so embarrassingly distasteful, I thought the hired chef, Brian Malarkey, might torch the entire table with his fire-themed deserts.  The big storyline “Tamra gets Gretchen drunk to bring out Gretchen’s dark side,” apparently backfired on Tamra when Gretchen and Tamra’s son, Ryan, looked like they were

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

going to “hook up.”  Ironically, Tamra stated in an interview segment that a person’s actions are more important to her than what a person says.  She was referring to Gretchen, but Tamra might have well been looking in a mirror. Gretchen has no one to blame but herself for drinking too much Tequila, but Tamra kept ordering her son to bring Gretchen shot after shot as well as encouraging everyone else to go along with her scheme.  The most entertaining part of this whole fiasco was that the other housewives looked mortified at what was happening.  It was clear that none of them wanted to be there; Jeana was the only one who made any attempt to socialize, and the husbands just sat back and watched as if they had front row seats to the WWE.

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

The men reminded me of the husbands from The Real Housewives of Atlanta who sat back at numerous dinner parties and watched their alpha wives mark their territory. Bottom line:  Tequila doesn’t lead to bad behavior, Tamra Barney does: she embarrassed herself, her guests, her etiquette teacher, the chef, her husband and his new Tequila brand business venture, and me—for admitting I watch this show.  Calling her son a “manwhore” didn’t help either, and hopefully that phrase will not become Ryan’s latest tattoo.  The funniest line from the show, however, did come from a tipsy Gretchen: I have big boobs, I con do what I want. Click here for Bravo TV’s rogue’s gallery of photos.

PJ

P.S. As of today, Vicki is the only housewife to write in about last night’s episode:

I had a great time at Tamra’s dinner party. It was fun getting all dressed up for a formal party at home instead of going out to a restaurant. All of our homes are so beautiful and I feel we don’t spend as much time in them as we should. It was amazing having Chef Brian Malarkey cook for us. It was overwhelming to watch how much work goes into the preparations for each dish. I have been to his restaurant Oceanaire in San Diego a few times, so it was nice to experience his menu and

Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki Gunvalson

talent at Tamra’s.

The only reason I made the comment at dinner about Lynne being so laid back was because I have never been around anyone like her before. It seems like nothing would ever bother her at all, and it doesn’t seem like she has a care in the world. Coming from me, Ms. Type-A Personality, it is nice to see someone with that level of calmness.

Yeah, right.  (I guess she forgot about almost vomiting over the oyster appetizers).


Rush Limbaugh dishes about Caroline Kennedy

December 21, 2008
The Photogenic Rush Limbaugh

The Photogenic Rush Limbaugh

On Friday Rush Limbaugh added his two cents about the Al Sharpton Lunch in Harlem and took on the role of Miss Manners by giving  Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg advice about

Caroline Kennedy looking lovely at a New York Public Library fundraiser luncheon with Jeffrey Rosen and Stephen Schwarzman

Caroline Kennedy looking lovely at a New York Public Library fundraiser luncheon with Jeffrey Rosen and Stephen Schwarzman

being photographed eating in public.  According to Limbaugh, it’s a “rookie mistake” to be photographed eating, let alone in public.  He said no one wants to look at a picture of someone with their mouth full of food;  however, because Caroline Kennedy is so thin, he was apparently happy to learn that she was actually eating in the first place.  Limbaugh looked to the Pope as a role model in this public relations arena;  Pope Benedict refused a dinner invitation to the White House because he doesn’t eat in public.

El Rushbo then moved on to reveal Burger King‘s latest product: Beef Scented Cologne.  Apparently market research revealed that people enjoyed the smell of  the inside of a Burger King restaurant, and wanted to carry the scent with them between meals.  (Be be on the lookout for these scent wearers

The effects of Eau de Burger King

The effects of Eau de Burger King

running down the street from a pack of dogs)!  Limbaugh said that Burger King’s customers “smell bad enough” anyway, so it isn’t going to make a difference.  I think Limbaugh should help out the economy by hiring anther joke writer;  El Rusbo’s next bit was offering his own line of bath and beauty products for purchase on-line through the EIB Network: Trans Fat Soap-on-a-Rope.  No Thanks.

PJ


Lauri leaves Bravo’s O.C. {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

December 10, 2008
Lauri Waring Peterson is the newest ex-housewife

Lauri Waring Peterson is the newest ex-housewife

Lauri Waring aka,”Mrs. George Peterson,” has left The Real Housewives of Orange County in the middle of the fourth season.  Bravo TV had preempted this episode as “shocking,” but Lauri exited quietly to spend more time with her family.  From the previews, I was expecting Vicki to have a hissy fit and leave the show amid some kind of scandal, but that didn’t happen.

I think Lauri’s reasons for leaving Housewives are similar to Tammy Knickerbocker’s; she and her kids need time to deal with things privately.  She said that she hopes she doesn’t offend anybody by leaving, but why would she?  Lauri has been an easy target of criticism by fans of the show, yet any negative remarks probably stemmed from jealousy.

Vicki, Quinn (a one season housewife) and Lauri at last season's cocktail party

Vicki, Quinn (a one season housewife) and Lauri at last season's cocktail party

Even during the first season Vicki remarked that it is easy to be jealous of Lauri because Lauri is prettier, skinnier, and has bigger boobs.  But Vikki goes on to say, “I’m rooting for her..I just want her to succeed in life.”  At the opening of the first season, Lauri had been working for Vicki’s insurance company for 3 years.  Newly divorced and living outside the gates in a townhouse, Lauri said she didn’t need to work when she was married, but now she had to work to support her family.  We all could see that Lauri wasn’t happy with her change in lifestyle, especially when everyone around her seemed living on easy street.  But I had to give her credit for making the best of her situation, and striving to be a good parent to her less than perfect kids, and many viewers could relate to  Lauri’s day to day adversities.  But when Lari met her soon to be husband, real estate developer, George Peterson, the collective claws came out and Lari was labeled a “gold digger.”

This photo is from "georgeandlauri.com"

This photo is from "georgeandlauri.com"

Lauri’s wedding was beautiful, almost dreamlike in atmosphere, and George remained laid back and in love throughout.   Their married life seemed so serene…I would love to stop over to Georges unpretentiously decorated house for ice tea and prune roses with Lauri before heading out their ranch to ride horses.  I think fans were waiting for change in Lauri, and she has changed a little bit.  On the first episode of this season, while she was eating dinner with George at The St. Regis and calling him “Babe” every other breath, she said that she didn’t want to go to Dubai for their honeymoon because it was “too commercial.”  (Gag)  The titanium credit card (another gift from George) was another vapid moment.

However, Lauri has remained true to herself: honest, humble, strong, beautiful, and in my opinion, the one of the more REAL housewives in  Bravo’s  Housewives series.  I will miss her and I wish her all the best with her family.

PJ


Rock of Love Charm School vs. Playboy Mansion

December 1, 2008

It’s sometimes not easy to explain the differences between one Reality TV show and another, even when the differences are obvious.  Side by side, here’s a look at two shows that couldn’t be more different, yet are strangely similar:

Rock of Love Charm School vs. Playboy Mansion’s Girls Next Door

Charm School Cast Dressed in Uniform

Charm School Cast Dressed in Uniform

1) Bitches in Heat vs. Bunnies in Love

2) Fuchsia Highlights vs. Pampered Peroxide

3) Sharon Osbourne, Headmistress  vs. Hugh Hefner, Headmaster

4) Charm School Pins vs. Playboy Bunny Diamond Necklaces

5) One Girl Eliminated Each Week vs. One (or more) Girls Move in Each Week

6) Censored language vs. Pixilated Body Parts

7) Competition for $100,000 Prize vs. Share Million Dollar Enterprise

The Girls next Door

The Girls Next Door Share the Love at the Playboy Mansion

8) Bret Michael’s Former Girlfriends vs. Hugh Hefner’s Past, Present,and Future Girlfriends

9) Learn New 10 Commandments vs. Live By The Golden Rule

10) Former Strippers vs. Former Hooters Girls

Although The Girls Next Door have moved on, and “random-ass hoe’s” have moved in, according to Kendra Wilkinson in an interview with Chelsea Handler, viewers will be able to reunite with their favorite Charm School girls on “Rock of Love Bus” premiering January 4th on VH1.

Pj


Why is Kenley still sewing? {Project Runway}

September 25, 2008

I more than a little bit baffled as to why Kenley was not sent home over Suade on last night’s episode of Project Runway.  Yes, Suade has been in the bottom two twice, but then Kelli was sent home (in my opinion, too early) without having been the bottom two before the night she was “outed.”  OK Suade’s outfit was “boring,” for a “Rock and Roll” aesthetic, but it was well sewn, and an outfit that is “well executed” (in Nina Garcia’s words) usually wins over the poorly sewn garment.  Remember when Angela kessler’s “streetwalker” (according to guest judge, Ivanka Trump) creation beat out Katherine Gerdes’s simple green dress during the man’s best friend challenge on Season Three?  If Vera Wang hadn’t raved about Angela’s skirt being “beautifully sewn,”  I think Angela would have been out that evening.  And then there was Santino Rice’s dog-doo brown jump suit he had made for Kara Janx.  Although the sleeve fell apart at the shoulder on stage, the guest judge thought the

Dont get snarky with Tim!

Don't get "snarky" with Tim!

outfit was original.  But last night, guest judge L L Cool J didn’t get Kenley’s idea of hip-hop at all, so what saved her? Kenley showed that she can not sew a pair of pants; she even said in her interview that her line is “dresses.”  Kenley does Kenley-type clothes well, but the same could be said for the signature looks of several eliminated designers: Stella and her “leatha,” Terri and her pant-suit separates, Keith and his “shredded wear.”  A finalist on Project Runway should be able to versify his or her signature look in a runway collection.  I don’t think Kenley is headed in that direction–and being the first designer on Project Runway to make Tim Gunn feel “snarky” doesn’t help, either.  I can hear Blayne shouting from a tanning booth in Yakima, WA: “Kenley’s just snarklishous!”  Kenely did look amazing as a pop-star last night; her outfit overshadowed her defensive attitude.  Maybe that’s why she still sewing.

PJ


Will Shawn Johnson be happy with Silver Medal?

August 15, 2008
Shawn and Nastia are happy rivals

Shawn and Nastia are happy rivals

Hopefully. She was quoted saying, “I gave my heart and soul out there. Nastia deserved the gold.” But there was sadness in her eyes; maybe not for winning silver, but probably because the All Around Finals are over. Athletic rivals couldn’t ask for a better competition; both were healthy and performed near flawless routines. But leading up to the Olympics, Shawn Johnson was the headliner on the women’s team. She was to be the next Mary Lou Retton. It’s evident the media still wants Shawn in the spotlight because the pair has been called “The Golden Girls.” Well the fact is that there is only one gold medalist, Nastia. I can’t picture both Johnson and Liukin together on the Wheaties box. Honestly, if Johnson won the gold, I really don’t think they would be calling the pair “The Golden Girls” because Johnson had such a good story, and it’s the story that connects the athlete to the audience. Johnson won the last two national and world titles; she is 16; Beijing is her first Olympics; she is from Iowa; she trains only 4 hours a day and attends public school; her coach was born in Beijing and his gym was damaged in the flood. Then there is the legacy angle: Although Carly Patterson was the last American to win the All Around gold medal in 2004, Johnson has been touted as “the next Mary Lou Retton.” Why? Well both Johnson and Retton perform “explosive” gymnastics and both have that All American Smile, and as a bonus, both Shawn and Mary Lou’s smiles are genuine.

Beautiful Nastia

Beautiful Nastia

But Nastia is different: she is not cute, she is beautiful and has beautiful long limbs. Her artistic gymnastics style will not be compared to Mary Lou’s and this is a good thing in my opinion. Mary Lou said in her Today Show interview that Nastia came in as former World Champion and Mary Lou was “an underdog.” (Meow). What Nastia brings the the post Olympic story is an expanded definition of “All American.” Her parents are former Soviet gymnasts who came to America and opened a gym. More importantly, Nastia’s win puts more distance in the Karolyi dynasty. By not being the next Mary Lou, Nastia will in no way be associated with “Bela’s Girls.” I think it is time that Nastia’s father get some credit. It was wonderful to see the individual coaches encourage all the girls on the American team. They seemed so comfortable with each other. They looked like a real team! Marta’s role was that of manager, not coach.

Nastia and Shawn are both good role models, and hopefully they will become better role models as a pair. With a rivalry, only one person can win. From watching Shawn and Nastia I’ve learned that yes, one person will win, but both can help each other do their best. Although Shawn Johnson won the silver medal, she couldn’t ask for a more perfect Olympic experience.

PJ


Future network change looms over Project Runway

July 25, 2008
I miss the more serene Heidi

I miss the more serene Heidi

The first two episodes of Season Five of Project Runway are over and already Heidi Klum looks a little tired. The usual perky, fashionably dressed and impeccably styled host and executive producer appears a little too thin and stressed out. Season 5 has a trying-too-hard-to-live-up-to-past-season’s vibe; the format is the same, but you can tell things have changed. This will be the last season aired on Bravo TV. Season 6 will be aired on the Lifetime Network and produced in LA (supposedly the geographical change works out better for Klum). Will the New York based supporting cast follow Klum? I can’t imagine Project Runway without Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, or especially Tim Gunn. Will the ultimate prize still be a runway show at Bryant Park? NYC is the perfect backdrop for fashion designers–can LA live up to it? I would love to see previous LA based designers Kara Saun, Santino Rice, and Jeffery Sebelia make appearances. What I’m afraid of is that the show will pander to the Red Carpet culture rather than fashion editors. Also, isn’t Lifetime “television for women?” Since when did Project Runway become a show “for women?”

As for the first two episodes: no one has stepped forward as the official a-hole, yet. In my opinion, two talented designers have been sent home already. I really thought Blayne would be the first one out with his walking Depends Undergarment creation, but Blayne is a “character.” He reminds me of Kato Kaelin’s gay cousin. In the last episode he called Heidi “Darth Vader” because she dressed in black. (Heidi had called Blayne’s diaper-chic “butt ugly”–ouch). But then Blayne changed his mind and called Heidi “Darth-licious” in a manner that evoked the spirit of the great Christian Siriano. Also, guest judge Natalie Portman plugged her new vegan shoe line. I’ve been buying “vegan shoes” for years at Payless. I’m so ahead of my time.

Kato or Blayne?

Kato or Blayne?

PJ


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