Thongate’s a new segment on “The Soup”

December 17, 2008
Mankini and McHale on The Soup

Mankini and McHale on The Soup

Inspired by a viewer’s email last week, The Soups Joel McHale introduced a new and ever more bizarre segment called “Thongate“, a clip from All My Children where actor, Cameron Mathison, turns around and reveals the top a black thong before making a dramatic exit from a room.

Just when I think no one watches this stuff but me, this week The Soup revealed that the mainstream maidens of The View sanctioned a few seconds of their precious airtime to Thongate.  However, The View one-upped The Soup with a “surprised” entrance by Mathison who walked onstage, and stopping next to Barbara Walters, turned around, pointed to his backside exclaiming, “This is how it was–here we go: T-shirt! T-shirt!  It was a T-shirt caught in the pants! T-shirt!”

McHale and his co-stars, Mankini and the Spaghetti Eating Cat, didn’t buy it. “You are a lying freak, Mathison!” said Mankini.   Accordingly, McHale said a viewer survey showed that 94% agreed.

The Soup's Spaghetti Cat

The Soup's Spaghetti Cat

Check Out My Thong

Check Out My Thong

Decide for yourself:  Click here for video clip and story.

Sloppy editing and talent improvisation continue to provide material for The Soup.  Another Soup segment, Is Al Roker Talking About Semen? featured  The Today Show‘s Al Roker exclaiming, “Live on Five: Hold the Mayo!” after Ann “Good morning- Good morning” Curry was cold and had just asked Roker and Lauer to hug her, thus making an “Ann Sandwhich.”

Ann Curry chillin'

Ann Curry chillin'

Producers need to encourage their talent to stick to the script, less they become future fodder for E!‘s  and VH1‘s popular clip shows.

PJ


Rock of Love Charm School vs. Playboy Mansion

December 1, 2008

It’s sometimes not easy to explain the differences between one Reality TV show and another, even when the differences are obvious.  Side by side, here’s a look at two shows that couldn’t be more different, yet are strangely similar:

Rock of Love Charm School vs. Playboy Mansion’s Girls Next Door

Charm School Cast Dressed in Uniform

Charm School Cast Dressed in Uniform

1) Bitches in Heat vs. Bunnies in Love

2) Fuchsia Highlights vs. Pampered Peroxide

3) Sharon Osbourne, Headmistress  vs. Hugh Hefner, Headmaster

4) Charm School Pins vs. Playboy Bunny Diamond Necklaces

5) One Girl Eliminated Each Week vs. One (or more) Girls Move in Each Week

6) Censored language vs. Pixilated Body Parts

7) Competition for $100,000 Prize vs. Share Million Dollar Enterprise

The Girls next Door

The Girls Next Door Share the Love at the Playboy Mansion

8) Bret Michael’s Former Girlfriends vs. Hugh Hefner’s Past, Present,and Future Girlfriends

9) Learn New 10 Commandments vs. Live By The Golden Rule

10) Former Strippers vs. Former Hooters Girls

Although The Girls Next Door have moved on, and “random-ass hoe’s” have moved in, according to Kendra Wilkinson in an interview with Chelsea Handler, viewers will be able to reunite with their favorite Charm School girls on “Rock of Love Bus” premiering January 4th on VH1.

Pj


Sandra Bernhard adds origionality to judges’ comments {Project Runway}

August 1, 2008

Comedian/actress/author Sandra Bernhard was the guest judge on Project Runway this week. Her comment on Terri’s outfit was one of the most original I’ve ever heard. She looks like she could pull out a knife and say, ‘I’m going to cut you!’ ‘This was made all the more funny when Michael Kors said that she looks like a girl you want to meet. It was a nice break from the usual: It does not look finished to me, it is not well executed, it’s chic looking, I would wear that, she knows how to dress a woman…

Why wasn’t Blayne in the bottom three? His dress looked like a black shift with blobs of Play-Doh stuck on it. It wasn’t as bad as Emily’s Carmen Miranda dress, but it was a close cousin! Maybe they kept Blayne because he taught Tim Gunn how to say, “Holla to your boy.

I thought Leanne’s black dress was amazing, and I preferred it to Kenley’s outfit. Kenley reminds me of Season 3’s Ulie with her love of prints!

PJ


Jessica sent home becuase of an “easy” Golden Retriever {Groomer Has It}

May 26, 2008

For the “On the Cover” elimination challenge, groomers found dogs at the Long Beach Recreational Dog Park to model for a chance to be featured on an upcoming cover of Groomer To Groomer magazine. Jessica was sent home this week because she chose a Golden Retriever named Puget who, according to the judges, was “too easy to groom” for a “Western Dog” themed photograph.

Groomer To Groomer magazine features “editorial” cover photographs, and I learned from watching America’s Next Top Model that “editorial” means artsy and fashion-forward. According to eliminated grommer Sarah Grace’s blog, guest judge Emily Willis,Vice President of Creative Services for Groomer To Groomer, “explains that they want to show a professional groom on the cover, but also one that demonstrates creativity.” However, on the Groomer To Groomer web-page, there are two past covers that don’t feature creative cuts (the third is a dog groomed to look like a basketball).

Aside from the winner, Kathleen, whom Artist said her “Circus Dog,” Scruffy, looked like he had been dipped in acid, the judges had negative feedback for everyone. In the end, Jorge squeaked by based on his results in past challenges. Not only did Jorge do a poor job of grooming Chloe, an American Cocker Spaniel, but he appeared to have “walked his dog through paint” according to Jessica. (Personally, I would have selected the Harlequin Great Dane (below left) that was at the dog park for a “Formal Dog” themed photo shoot because his coat had tuxedo colors)

Despite the judges’ criticisms about Jonathan being a poodle-only groomer, Emily Willis liked Jonathan’s “Disco Dog” themed poodle the best, even though the fur resembled a big cloud of blue cotton candy. Jonathan also trimmed the head of his poodle in an attempt to create an afro. (Huh?)

Jasper and Artist put forth the most effort this week: Jasper groomed and painted his Terrier mix to look like a “Super Football Fan,” complete with a “hairy chest and hairy back.” The hairy chest/back feature thoroughly grossed out metro-sexual judge Xavier, but proved that Jasper can be creative. Artist challenged himself by choosing a Briard, a breed of dog he has only seen once in South Central for a “Rock and Roll” themed photo.

I can’t wait for next week because the dogs will judge the groomers (via a pet psychic) to select a winner. This will be a first for Reality TV!

PJ



Fergie’s “Baracuda” performance more suitable for Red Light District {The Today Show}

May 24, 2008

Fergie, the lead singer form The Black Eyed Peas, sang her version of Heart’s rock anthem “Barracuda” on the Today Show. Fergie is so hip, Meredith Vierira had to read her intro off an index card. Fergie performed three songs at Rockefeller Center on May 20th, but “Barracuda” should have been performed at 2:00 a.m. at Times Square, or Fergie should have substituted her stripper-pole choreography for a more appropriate routine. Kids remember this song from Shrek the Third, when it was a call to arms for Princess Fionna. The under twelve members in the front row of the Today Show stage looked dumbfounded when faced with the singer, live.

Fergie on Today Show: ‘Barracuda’ Performance 5/20/08

As an artist, Fergie had every right to interpret the song as she saw fit, but I think she could have shown a little more class. Madonna often had similar criticism in the 1980’s and early ’90’s, but she always responded that she was attempting to be “ironic” and “provocative.” Will kids stop listening to Fergie? I doubt it, but hopefully they won’t make her too-tight leather pants the latest fad, either.

PJ


More search term Q & A…from wedding tattoos to Yorkie puppy cuts

May 19, 2008

Searches for Nick and Mariah’s tattoos have led viewers to my blog, and I hope you all were not disappointed. Thanks to you, this post has a record of 935 views so far. Also popular were searches for Bear Grylls (Sorry, I couldn’t find the diarrhea video), Yorkshire Terrier aka “Yorkie” puppy cuts, and of course, there are those of you who are interested in spandex.

1) I’m looking for Mariah’s & Nick’s tattoos. Here’s a picture of Nick and Mariah’s tattoos from a comprehensive site vanashingtattoo.com. “Nick Cannon” is inked as the body of a butterfly tattoo on the small of her back. Incorporating Nick in a butterfly is meaningful symbol for Mariah compared to the “Mrs. Cannon” or “MC” tattoos rumored to have been inked on one of her butt cheeks.

2) Are their any pictures of tattoos for married couples? Check out tattoojohnny’s designs for ideas.

3) Is Bear Grylls a model? Bear reveals more about himself on his You Tube channel. If you go there, you can send him a message. I don’t think Bear is moonlighting as a model, but you can buy a Bear Grylls Rocks T- shirt.

4) I want to know more about Spandex. Click here to learn all about this versatile fabric, and here to purchase some for yourself.

5) Do you have any pictures of Yorkie puppy cuts?


Amber is first groomer voted off the island {Groomer Has It}

May 4, 2008

Fans of Project Runway and Survivor felt right at home in the doghouse this week on Groomer Has It. Amber was sent home by two of her teammates because she did a superior job during the Challenge. Will, the winner of last week’s show, got to pick his own team of three for the Quick Sniff Challenge: designing a collection of three outfits for a Poodle from each breed class: standard (big), miniature (small), and teacup (tiny). Will also received the added advantage of putting the rest of the teams of 3 together. He should have picked judges’ favorites– show front runners Jonathan and Kathleen, but instead, chose Amber (for her creative ideas) and Jessica (who said dressing up dogs is “stupid”). The most entertaining team was Jorge, Jasper, and Artist; they had the least designing experience, yet won with their line of red and white satin poodle sportswear. They were picked by two “top designers in dog-dressing fashion.” (Stop. You mean to tell me that there exists such a hierarchy?) Jorge was impressed with Jasper’s cloth-cutting skills saying Jasper cut like “he’s been playing with dolls all his life.” Jasper, a man built like a tank, and who admitted his wife dresses him at home, “got in touch with his inner metro-sexual,” according to Jorge. Watching Jorge, Jasper, and Artist select their “models” grew funnier by the minute. Jasper picked Kenny, a black standard poodle “because he was easygoing and he let me play with his paws.” Artist picked the miniature poodle who had the most “testosterone.” Artist’s technique comprised of sniffing each poodle butt (this is a unique talent of Artist’s; detecting dog hormones was his method for identifying breeds while blindfolded in the first challenge). Ironically, this dog ended up wearing a cheerleading outfit. Jorge grabbed teacup poodle, Patches: “When I saw Patches, I said, ‘that’s the spirit I need today.'” (At the time, Patches was humping another teacup poodle). The contestants also had to create their own copy for the catwalk and Artist had the most original with his hip-hop inspired description: “We have here the tough traina. He does not like no complainas. He works hard, he has flair, his bling-bling is hot to wear. He gives us a sweatshirt with a team logo with matching colors–Oh no no!” Their ability to work together and have fun with a tough challenge won over the judges. Jasper, the MIP, (Most Improved Playa), was the overall individual winner.

Now for the bad news: Malissa was singled out by the judges as the worst groomer this week for a single act of shaving a poodle’s “top knot” too far back. You learn something new every week, and I learned that poodles are supposed to have bangs. Sweet Malissa responded by saying that “the eyes are the most beautiful part of a dog.” But she is safe for now because, as Artist had pointed out earlier, “grooming is 20% of this challenge.” Amber was sad to leave the show, but happy to return home to “build her business and her family.” As if to remind the viewers to keep life in perspective, she shared with us her happy news that she is pregnant.

What’s next? The groomers will be tested on their EMT skills. Can they perform CPR on a dog? There is more to the dog grooming profession than grooming!

PJ


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