Tom Cruise seeks Oprah to help America forget “The Couch”

May 10, 2008

What prompted Tom Cruise to emerge from his million dollar bunker in Colarado and talk to Oprah? The Couch. I believe Tom wants us to forget all about The Couch, not just move on, but erase it from our memory. But it’s Cruise who can’t let it go; he could go on Oprah 100 more times and the backlash from The Couch will still haunt him. Cruise, in my opinion, is a big control freak who lacks a sense of humor! He doesn’t want the couch-jumping-episode to be his legacy. On his own couch in Colorado, he told Oprah “it was a moment.” It just kills Cruise that people have remembered and mocked his TV appearances. Tom Cruise is a man who wants to be taken seriously. Unfortunately (for him), when left unscripted, he’s hilarious because he takes himself too seriously. I think what prompted these latest reappearances is that the tabloid press continues to print and reprint the real and imagined details of his marriage to Katie Holmes. Tom and Katie try to rebut these stories by plastering themselves all over magazines of their choosing; they want what J Lo and M Anthony have: a mainstream (of sorts) magazine who visits by appointment and takes carefully choreographed photos of the their family acting normal. But it’s too late now because Tom has become official fodder for the tabloid press. So whatever actions he takes, there will be an equal reaction/backlash from the tabloids and the blogs and the YouTube crowd. So Tom better hurry up and make another movie–he is a talented actor, in my opinion, as well as a talented film producer. We need to see more of Tom doing what he does best on camera—acting, not interviewing.

As for that darn couch? If Oprah wants to get Cruise, she’ll auction off The Couch on one of her shows. Why would she want to get back at Cruise? Well, he didn’t invite her to his wedding. He invited Brooke Shields (after she went on Oprah to rebut what Tom said about her). Oprah allegedly sent him a note saying she’d be out of town on the weekend of Cruise’s wedding once she heard that the invitations were sent out! But Cruise, ever mindful of his image, didn’t want to allign himself with Oprah and her couch. You’ve got to feel sorry for The Couch–it’s become an innocent victim in this sorted ordeal! The Smithsonion Institution has a collection of famous TV furniture (Archie and Edith’s armchairs from All in the Family, for example) and I’m sure that they’ll be asking Oprah to donate The Couch. What she does when that happens will reveal a lot about Oprah and her alliances. I’ll write more about Oprah some other time, but meanwhile, here’s what all the hoopla’s been about.

The following links will take you right into YouTube. I neither created nor posted these videos on YouTube, I just thought they best showed off Tom’s wacky “moments” in TV history. The first one has been edited and sped up by it’s creator for laughs!Video of the famous “Couch Episode”

Next is a short video of Tom’s views on medication and psychiatry in an interview with The Today Show’s Matt Lauer. It has been shortened by its editor to highlight Cruise’s intensity.

Another time, Cruise went on television to explain the Church of Scientology. In this single appearance, Tom managed to make himself and Scientology look strange and scary at the same time. Remakes of this interview got really weird: See this Video parody of Tom Cruise’s commitment to Scientology and decide for yourself.

Personally, I don’t think we can forget about The Couch. For me it represents one of the reasons Amercia is a fun place to live! Lighten up, Tom.

Your Fan,

PJ


Mariah and Nick say tatoos, not diamonds, are forever {Chelsea Lately}

May 9, 2008

Thursday night on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler and her round-table guests, mused over Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s recent nuptials. The newlyweds apparently chose to get tattoos rather than exchange rings to commemorate their marriage. According to Nick (via People Magazine) tattoos are better than rings; they “professed our love and they hurt.” Nick chose to have “M-A-R-I-A-H” tramp-stamped across his back, whereas Mariah had “Nick” inked into one of her buns-of-steel. The round-table weighed in:

Jason Kennedy (E! News Correspondent): This is not henna, folks, this is permanent.

Chelsea: Let me say Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson, their tattoos worked. I mean they stayed together even while they were married to other people.

LaVell Crawford (Comedian): I mean Nick, why he got a big-all-over-his-back Mariah, and she got it right on her butt-cheek, look like a crap stain or something like that…I can’t even read hers, does it say Mrs. Cannon or Mrs. Can? I know why he did it because her album is doing way better than his ever did…

Chelsea: They said they flew down two commercial jets filled with lobsters for the wedding. Can you imagine how pissed you’d be if you were in coach and there’s a lobster up front?

Arden Myrin (Mad TV): They were in the Bahamas, like can’t you get a lobster? Do you have to fly them in?…I think they were trying to upstage Jay z and Beoncee.

LaVell: I think those tattoos are temporary. I think he can lick them off in a Cracker Jack box.

PJ (From Her Laptop): Is it the new fad to bring along a trusted tattoo artist and his equipment to a proposal rather than a diamond ring ? I’d take a ring any day, even if I had buns-of-steel.

Have a nice weekend,

PJ


Round #2 with mamma’s boy {Dr. Phil}

May 5, 2008

I had to wait until the end of the show to hear Dr. Phil say:

To crazy mom (Yolande): “I haven’t had a drink in 40 years, and I’m really thinking…”

To ex-wife (Amanda): “If I were you, happiness would be these folks in my rear-view mirror. I feel like they don’t have a plan for life.”

To adult son living with mom (Pierre): “You’re 40, able-bodied, and intelligent–get off your dead-ass and get a job!”

To audience (PJ et al.): “Am I the only one who thinks this is just really weird?”

No, but parading out a singe nutty family for an entire “update show” is boring, Dr. Phil.

Coming up tomorrow: Round #2 with “king of moochers.” I predict Dr. P will say…(see Comment #3). I’ll be ready with the remote and delete button.

PJ


Dr. Phil reveals he’s “as flexible as a rubber hose”

May 2, 2008

Based on the title of today’s episode, Cougar Craze, I expected Dr. Phil to set the women’s movement back a few years by making the guests look desperate and needy. But Dr. Phil was more worried about the women marginalizing his age group by choosing to dive into a dating pool full of men under 30. Attractive and articulate women over 45 claim that older men “have pot bellies and are rigid and set in their ways.” The show took a bizarre twist when Dr. Phil jumped off his high chair (literally, because today everyone was seated on high wooden chairs facing the audience), unbuttoned his sport coat and said, “I don’t have a pot belly.” The audience breathed a sigh of relief when Dr. P hopped back upon his perch and didn’t remove any more clothing. Then Dr. P said, “I’m as flexible as a rubber hose!” to which the audience of women responded with a resounding, “Oh no he didn’t!” An embarrassed Robin McGraw stood up and gushed, “I’m leaving.” Dr. Phil: “I didn’t mean it like that! Right. The director made the right choice when staging this episode. The guests were seated next to, not around Dr. Phil like they needed therapy, and Dr. Phil sat poised to lead a discussion, rather than give advice. Dr. Phil’s bottom line was: “Age should not be a deal-breaker if you both have the same mind set.” It was an entertaining show and for a minute I thought Dr. Phil might stand up on his chair and beat his chest with his fists, gorilla-style. Maybe that footage will appear on the Dr. Phil Uncensored page.

Have a good weekend,

PJ


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