Who cares about your dumb tennis match? {Real Housewives of NYC}

Hey Bravo—no one cares about this tennis match!  This season has plenty of backhanded comments, slices, and foot

Mario "Too Tan For Primetime" Singer

(in mouth) faults each week, so why make us watch an actual tennis match?  I think Mario wants a platform to show his skills, and frankly, I’d prefer he just continue his tanning and trash talking.  Perhaps Mario is jealous that Simon has secured himself Bravolebrtity status, ironically, thanks in part to Ramona, who last season came completely unglued when Simon showed up at a “girl’s night.”

Kelly Bensimon's uniform is boots and a too short dress: More childish than chic

My take on Kelly is that Kelly does not see herself as a Bravolebrity; her fame or infamy stems from a source greater than Reality TV.  But come on Kelly, even Paris Hilton, an honest to goodness NY socialite, didn’t turn her nose up at Reality TV.  Kelly reminds me of the quintessential beautiful- person- popular- girl in high school who no one dared “call out” or question.  Kelly should have consulted her publicist as to how to deal with Bethany because obviously Kelly revealed herself to be mean and not too bright.

On another note–the Bravo TV Blogs reveal more backstory for viewers who want more than the “edited for dramatic impact” moments.  The funniest Blog this week is Andy Cohen’s, who finally got his mom to watch an episode with him.

Also today I heard that LuAnn and “The Count” have separated.  The cast is set to tape the “Reunion Special” soon so we’ll see how she is doing.  Hopefully, she’ll get to keep her title like the Dutchess of York.

PJ

A Nation of Village People {Judge Judy}

Senator and soon to be Secretary of State  Hilary Clinton could probably feel her ears (and cankles) burning when Mr. Weston, a defendant on Judge Judy, gave his exit interview  yesterday.  Judge Judy had dismissed Mr. Weston’s case of false arrest for assault with a deadly weapon when his neighbors claimed he had allegedly tried to run over his son with his car after being challenged to a fight.

Did he have anything to say to his neighbors?

Ready to Raise Your Child

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD, AND THEY ARE NOT VILLAGE PEOPLE“

Next case….

PJ

Tamra Barney takes out the trash {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

Viewers were surely annoyed that they had to wait a half hour before getting to the “Drunk Gretchen” scene at Tamra’s so called formal dinner party, a party so embarrassingly distasteful, I thought the hired chef, Brian Malarkey, might torch the entire table with his fire-themed deserts.  The big storyline “Tamra gets Gretchen drunk to bring out Gretchen’s dark side,” apparently backfired on Tamra when Gretchen and Tamra’s son, Ryan, looked like they were

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

going to “hook up.”  Ironically, Tamra stated in an interview segment that a person’s actions are more important to her than what a person says.  She was referring to Gretchen, but Tamra might have well been looking in a mirror. Gretchen has no one to blame but herself for drinking too much Tequila, but Tamra kept ordering her son to bring Gretchen shot after shot as well as encouraging everyone else to go along with her scheme.  The most entertaining part of this whole fiasco was that the other housewives looked mortified at what was happening.  It was clear that none of them wanted to be there; Jeana was the only one who made any attempt to socialize, and the husbands just sat back and watched as if they had front row seats to the WWE.

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

The men reminded me of the husbands from The Real Housewives of Atlanta who sat back at numerous dinner parties and watched their alpha wives mark their territory. Bottom line:  Tequila doesn’t lead to bad behavior, Tamra Barney does: she embarrassed herself, her guests, her etiquette teacher, the chef, her husband and his new Tequila brand business venture, and me—for admitting I watch this show.  Calling her son a “manwhore” didn’t help either, and hopefully that phrase will not become Ryan’s latest tattoo.  The funniest line from the show, however, did come from a tipsy Gretchen: I have big boobs, I con do what I want. Click here for Bravo TV’s rogue’s gallery of photos.

PJ

P.S. As of today, Vicki is the only housewife to write in about last night’s episode:

I had a great time at Tamra’s dinner party. It was fun getting all dressed up for a formal party at home instead of going out to a restaurant. All of our homes are so beautiful and I feel we don’t spend as much time in them as we should. It was amazing having Chef Brian Malarkey cook for us. It was overwhelming to watch how much work goes into the preparations for each dish. I have been to his restaurant Oceanaire in San Diego a few times, so it was nice to experience his menu and

Vicki Gunvalson

talent at Tamra’s.

The only reason I made the comment at dinner about Lynne being so laid back was because I have never been around anyone like her before. It seems like nothing would ever bother her at all, and it doesn’t seem like she has a care in the world. Coming from me, Ms. Type-A Personality, it is nice to see someone with that level of calmness.

Yeah, right.  (I guess she forgot about almost vomiting over the oyster appetizers).

Gretchen and Tamara compete in a 6 karat boxing ring {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

Tamara tries, but can't compete with Gretchen

Gretchen is getting on my nerves.  OK, so she received a 6+karat diamond “engagement” ring from Jeff Betizel, but what bugged me is that in between worrying about him in the hospital, she exclaimed,”I love my ring!” (Gag).  I wonder what happened to that ring?  Bravo has yet to officially report Jeff’s untimely death on September 13, 2008 at the age of 54. Instead, next week’s previews show Tamara feeding tequila shots to Gretchen and Gretchen flirting with Tamara’s son.  Gretchen appears to be the smartest at media manipulation: she garners sympathy from the viewers while making anyone who questions her motives look bad.

However, If you really want to know the Real Housewives of Orange County, search the blogs.  It turns out, people who know them (or know of them) off camera weigh in regularly on blogs like absurdtosublime.blogspot.com Will tabloid journalism be necessary when anyone can find out the scoop from “sources close to” the stars?  Case in point:  Here is a blog post and some selected comments regarding Gretchen Rossi and her relationship with Jeff Beitzel.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Gretchen Rossi, The Newest Orange County “Housewife”

From Pop Tower:

Gretchen Rossi is one of the housewives featured on Bravo’s series, “The Real Housewives of Orange County.”

This season’s newest housewife is a 30-year-old blonde bombshell with a sparkling personality, dazzling smile and—something very few Orange County women have—real breasts.

Gretchen’s outward beauty is obvious, but is her beauty only skin deep? She was engaged to Jeff, a wealthy businessman who made his fortune in the automotive industry – and who just happens to be 23 years older than her. Jeff’s been married and divorced five times, has four adult children and is very rich. Jeff also has acute Leukemia.

Gretchen openly admits that she’s not physically attracted to Jeff – he’s not her type. But she also says that he is her “prince charming” and the kindest man she has ever met.

She did not expect that she would become Jeff’s primary care giver during his cancer treatments. Is she a saint, after money….or both? She is a party girl who likes to go to nightclubs, drink and dance. But there is more to her than meets the eye as she switches gears to becoming Jeff’s nurse, learning how to give Jeff injections and managing his demanding daily care.

Gretchen grew up in La Crescenta, California, and attended Baylor University in Dallas, Texas, where she studied psychiatry. She meets the housewives through fellow realtor, Jeana Keough.

Postscript: Jeffrey Paul Beitzel died September 13, 2008. Age 54. How much of this will be included on the show, scheduled to premiere November 25, is not yet known.

Judy Fike said…

I happen to be Jeff’s sister and although I knew the kind of relationship they had — he seeking the “Malibu Barbie” armpiece & her seeking $$$$$ and someone to take care of her, her flaunting & lack of concern for him shown in this article only confirms her insincerety. I’m just glad he wasn’t able to see how superficial this relationship was. At Christmas when he first found out about his illness & limited chance of survival, he had no intentions of marrying her or anyone else. She was his West Coast armpiece whom he managed to keep seperate from his interest in the east. I’m glad she was with him when he died only because he wouldn’t allow anyone else to see him in such grave condition. At least he wasn’t alone at the end, although I know he spent many lonely hours in his hospital room. In the 3 or 4 years he dated her, his mother & I were never introduced to her. Unforunately he was never smart enough to appreciate a good wife when he had one.

October 29, 2008 11:08 AM

Tournament Drive Neighbor said…

Judy my condolences to you and your family. I knew Jeff and I knew in some sense all of his wives except #1. I can assure you that #2 through #5 were not gold diggers! To even consider grouping his wives with that narcissistic, shallow, self serving, self absorbed, vacant (in every sense of the word) wannabe reality actress is not only wrong but insulting on every level: Wife #2 and #5 who loved and married him when he was poor! Yes, he was poor at one time. There was no gold to dig then! Wife #3: The mother of his THREE children not Four as it is has been reported. Wife #3 also married him before his millions..again no gold. Wife #4: Although Jeff was on his way to the millions, she helped in the role of step mother and was more intrested in that role than the role of pampered princess. NOW, let’s talk about Gretchy…When Jeff was first feeling ill, he actually was in a relationship with wife #5. Wives #3 & 4 were aware of this. In fact, all of those women talk and actually get along with each other. Wife #5 was taking care of him, drove him to the hospital and was making arrangements with the hospital staff. Jeff was in the hospital for a week before Gretchy could find dog sitters for her precious pups. Upon arriving and finding out much to her amazement that Jeff was not as dumb as she thought and knew exactly why she was with him she completely FREAKED OUT! It was quite the scene with all of his ex’s and children witnessing… She promptly demanded that she be the center of attention and threatened Jeff. At the time, many people were hurt to find out that Jeff would be receiving treatment in CA when U of M was literally down the street and is very well respected hospital with a leading cancer treatment center. His kids were floored. His ex wives especially the mother of his children were shocked consdiering the treatment would be so intense and CA is so far and it would be difficult for the kids to see their father. I remember sitting around talking about WHY would Jeff do this. A few months later it became clear…The Real Housewives of Orange County. Gretchen didn’t give a shit about Jeff it came down to her ruining her wannabe acting career. Now, I will admit that I have not met Gretchen. She clearly was not someone Jeff cared to introduce to people here in Michigan, and there are many of us. I was stunned to hear at the eulogy that Gretchen had been with Jeff for four years. I think the woman he was still married to four years ago was stunned as well. So, although Jeff lived his life to the fullest and I mean that in every sense…he made some really bad choices. Ultimately, he hurt himself and people (wives, ex wives, children, sisters, friends) he would give you the shirt off his back, he was generally a good natured person. I am with Judy Fike that I am glad Jeff can’t witness the circus that Gretchen Rossi has created at the end of his illness and now in his death. She is still gold digging through his death. She doesn’t need to worrry about casting for season 5..she will get a spin off “The Real GOLD DIGGERS of Orange County” starring just her!

October 30, 2008 8:19 PM

Anonymous said…

I was a very, very close friend of Jeff Beitel for many years. As for the comment on his ex wive’s, I never met his first wife, that was only a one year marriage, when he was very, very young. I do however know the other three, I only know #2/5, #4 very well. I only met #3 a few times, they’re all very nice, classy, educated women and I can assure you, they DIDN’T marry Jeff for his money because he didn’t have any money when he was with these women. They were with him because they truly loved Jeff for Jeff. He may have made some money after years of being with each of these women, but this is many years after being with him when he was basically broke AND when he did make some money it wasn’t anywhere near the tune of what he made in his last few years alive. So, you, who made the comment that these women are “older gold diggers” you couldn’t be any further from the truth. These women loved and supported Jeff in every sense of the word when he had NO money. They didn’t care about money or fancy material things and when he did make some money, none of these women changed their ways, or their attitudes, they stayed charming, nice, approachable, classy women…. Unlike Gretchen. Gretchen didn’t love Jeff, she loved his money, his connections, and the lifstyle that he could afford her. I also know for fact that Gretchen didn’t spend the time she claims she did taking care of Jeff. Jeff spent way too many hours and days alone in the hospital while Gretchen was out partying it up with her friends and doing promotional things for this show (that she has no business being on). She wasn’t the loving, caring person she claimed to be towards Jeff. Everything Grtechen does is for show purpose only, why/how he every got hooked up with her still remains a mystery to many of us (his close friends and family. Not to say that Jeff was an angle, but she’s basically trailer trash compared to the other women & his ex wive’s.

October 31, 2008 10:34 AM

Judy Fike said…

I would like to thank Tournament Drive Neighbor for your insight. Without elaborating on the saga of the ex’s, I would like to verify a few facts. Jeff’s choice to go to the City of Hope for treatment was not based on the persuasion powers of Gretchen — he was actually smarter than that! He decided to go to LA for treatment only after several agonizing days of phone calls & consultations with various doctors from UM, City of Hope & others only because they were the only doctors who offered him any glimmer of hope through treatment. He didn’t want his children or others to know he had been given only a 15% survival rate & his decision was to go with the only doctor who offered him any chance at all. He knew the hardship it would place on his family, but ultimately was grasping at the only straw offered. Suffice it to say that his children were his main priority & while making hospital preparations, he also updated his will & all financial assets to make sure his children & family were taken care of. The Gretchen fiasco has obviously mushroomed due to her attempt at fame, but her importance in his family’s life has not changed — I only met her once at his funeral & although I keep in touch with other ex’s, she’s definately not in their category or our future.

November 2, 2008 6:29 PM

Tournament Drive Neighbor said…

Judy thanks for the insight. I am glad you were able to clarify some facts. I would have been interested to see what you would have thought of Gretchen if you got to know her. I am surpised that there is very little sympathy or defending when it comes to her. I know wife #2/#5…I am disappointed that Jeff gave up the love of his life for that whore. I stood by wife #2/#5 when Gretchen made such a scene at St.Mary’s. Wife #2/#5 loved him with all of her heart, she left so it would be easier on Jeff. I hope Jeff knew how much she cared and the pain that she felt then and her lonliness at times now. He had such a long history with her and GRETCHEN knew the facts but was not willing to leave it alone. Judy don’t know how well you know that wife, but thought you’d like to know

November 3, 2008 5:21 PM

Judy Fike said…

I keep reading the responses here & telling myself not to respond, but I can’t help putting my 2 cents worth in, again! Wife #2/5 is the only one of his wives that has ever been a sister-in-law to me & encouraged family contact. I appreciate Tournament Drive neighbors input, and I am fully aware of her feelings — we will always keep in touch. As for Gretchen, Jeff was ready to end that relationship due to her excessive partying & mainly her “recreational drug” use. Jeff was no stranger to alcohol, but had told her it was either the drugs or him because he wouldn’t live with it. Somehow she managed to convince him, and I even found this unbelievable at the time not even knowing her, that she had given up her partying & drugs for him & had returned to her religious upbringing. How or why he wanted to believe this is beyond me, but obviously he was deceived. The “Malibu Barbie” image seemed to overrule all reason.

November 4, 2008 6:34 PM

tournament Drive Neighbor said…

I wish Jeff would have ended the relationship prior to the engagement bullshit. I think the show and Gretchen are making a mockery of him. I think it is hard to move on when the promo’s are running and GRETCHEN IS MAKING money off the show! She is a shrew! Someone should warn photoglu guy before it is too late!

November 5, 2008 7:43 PM

There are far more sordid comments about Gretchen on this site if you care to now more.  I don’t and I’m missing the days when we gathered around the water cooler and talked about Melorse Place!

PJ

Thongate’s a new segment on “The Soup”

Mankini and McHale on The Soup

Inspired by a viewer’s email last week, The Soup‘s Joel McHale introduced a new and ever more bizarre segment called “Thongate“, a clip from All My Children where actor, Cameron Mathison, turns around and reveals the top a black thong before making a dramatic exit from a room.

Just when I think no one watches this stuff but me, this week The Soup revealed that the mainstream maidens of The View sanctioned a few seconds of their precious airtime to Thongate.  However, The View one-upped The Soup with a “surprised” entrance by Mathison who walked onstage, and stopping next to Barbara Walters, turned around, pointed to his backside exclaiming, “This is how it was–here we go: T-shirt! T-shirt!  It was a T-shirt caught in the pants! T-shirt!”

McHale and his co-stars, Mankini and the Spaghetti Eating Cat, didn’t buy it. “You are a lying freak, Mathison!” said Mankini.   Accordingly, McHale said a viewer survey showed that 94% agreed.

The Soup's Spaghetti Cat

Check Out My Thong

Decide for yourself:  Click here for video clip and story.

Sloppy editing and talent improvisation continue to provide material for The Soup.  Another Soup segment, Is Al Roker Talking About Semen? featured  The Today Show‘s Al Roker exclaiming, “Live on Five: Hold the Mayo!” after Ann “Good morning- Good morning” Curry was cold and had just asked Roker and Lauer to hug her, thus making an “Ann Sandwhich.”

Ann Curry chillin'

Producers need to encourage their talent to stick to the script, less they become future fodder for E!‘s  and VH1‘s popular clip shows.

PJ

Lauri leaves Bravo’s O.C. {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

Lauri Waring Peterson is the newest ex-housewife

Lauri Waring aka,”Mrs. George Peterson,” has left The Real Housewives of Orange County in the middle of the fourth season.  Bravo TV had preempted this episode as “shocking,” but Lauri exited quietly to spend more time with her family.  From the previews, I was expecting Vicki to have a hissy fit and leave the show amid some kind of scandal, but that didn’t happen.

I think Lauri’s reasons for leaving Housewives are similar to Tammy Knickerbocker’s; she and her kids need time to deal with things privately.  She said that she hopes she doesn’t offend anybody by leaving, but why would she?  Lauri has been an easy target of criticism by fans of the show, yet any negative remarks probably stemmed from jealousy.

Vicki, Quinn (a one season housewife) and Lauri at last season's cocktail party

Even during the first season Vicki remarked that it is easy to be jealous of Lauri because Lauri is prettier, skinnier, and has bigger boobs.  But Vikki goes on to say, “I’m rooting for her..I just want her to succeed in life.”  At the opening of the first season, Lauri had been working for Vicki’s insurance company for 3 years.  Newly divorced and living outside the gates in a townhouse, Lauri said she didn’t need to work when she was married, but now she had to work to support her family.  We all could see that Lauri wasn’t happy with her change in lifestyle, especially when everyone around her seemed living on easy street.  But I had to give her credit for making the best of her situation, and striving to be a good parent to her less than perfect kids, and many viewers could relate to  Lauri’s day to day adversities.  But when Lari met her soon to be husband, real estate developer, George Peterson, the collective claws came out and Lari was labeled a “gold digger.”

This photo is from "georgeandlauri.com"

Lauri’s wedding was beautiful, almost dreamlike in atmosphere, and George remained laid back and in love throughout.   Their married life seemed so serene…I would love to stop over to Georges unpretentiously decorated house for ice tea and prune roses with Lauri before heading out their ranch to ride horses.  I think fans were waiting for change in Lauri, and she has changed a little bit.  On the first episode of this season, while she was eating dinner with George at The St. Regis and calling him “Babe” every other breath, she said that she didn’t want to go to Dubai for their honeymoon because it was “too commercial.”  (Gag)  The titanium credit card (another gift from George) was another vapid moment.

However, Lauri has remained true to herself: honest, humble, strong, beautiful, and in my opinion, the one of the more REAL housewives in  Bravo’s  Housewives series.  I will miss her and I wish her all the best with her family.

PJ

Pam Anderson lets loose on her own reality tv show

Pam Anderson might not be a young beauty, but who cares? Her new reality show, Pam:Girl on the Loose has a little bit of everything. Anderson has managed to cover all of the reality tv basics in the first two episodes. She introduces her staff (cook, assistant, etc.), cooks with her mom, jets off to Vegas with ex-husband Tommy Lee for Hugh Hefner‘s birthday celebration, visits the Playboy mansion, poses for a “fashion shoot” in the nude, and sells off all her worldly possessions at a yard sale to raise money for PETA. These snippets of her life are narrated by Pam from her bathtub and if you you don’t understand what she is saying, she draws little pictures and doodles on the screen–kind of like Blues Clues. I don’t think I can take an entire season of Girl on the Loose, but the first two episodes had a few poignant and humorous moments. Pam goes to Camp Pendleton to help MC a USO show. Riding in a golf cart with Kathy Griffin to the stage Pam asks: Is ZZ Top here?

Kathy:Yes.

Pam: Are any of my ex husbands here?

Kathy: Let me think….no.

Although Pam says she is against war, she reveals that one of her sons loves the Military Channel and appreciates everything the troops are doing. She said that she took him to an Army-Navy Surplus Store and they brought rations and her son cooked dinner from these rations. Obviously she supports his creativity.

Pam sense of humor about herself is refreshing, but if she really wanted to let loose, she would walk around the house without make-up.

PJ

Diddy For President! {I Want to Work for Diddy: The Man, the Myth}

The preview episode for Diddy‘s (aka Sean Combs formerly known as P. Diddy, formerly known as Puff Daddy) latest reality tv show I Want to Work for Diddy: The Man, the Myth reminded me a lot of a presidential campaign–with one exception: I understand what Diddy is talking about. Diddy presents himself as a no-nonsense boss that can get things done. I’m not saying that Diddy can navigate domestic and international political waters, but I haven’t heard much from either Senator McCain nor Senator Obama about what they plan to do. It’s always about what they believe–the rhetoric of beliefs. That said, the upcoming National Conventions will be pretty boring. (Exception: How is Hillary Clinton going to ask the Democratic Party to support Senator Obama when she argued so vehemently against him? Stay tuned!) Here are some quotes from Diddy that would liven up the conventions:

It’s a hard mother f****ing job, but somebody’s got to do it.

To succeed in anything in life you need a vision. If you can’t see the forest through the trees, you need to chop them mother f****ers down.

If you gave it you’re all, that’s the kind of performance I judge. I judge your heart. You got to go hard or go home.

I want my dreams to come true, but not in a selfish way. I want other people’s dreams to come true, too.

Sleep is forbidden. When I’m working, I’m a machine and I don’t look at other people like they are human.

You got to be able to make a way out of no way.

I sometimes feel sorry for people that don’t work for me, ‘cuz I know they not be having as much fun.

PJ

Real World Cast is a bunch of Douche Bags

I used to watch MTV‘s The Real World. I think I stopped keeping up with this show after Austin or Philadelphia. My favorite season was San Fransisco because the cast was intelligent (yes, even Puck) and actually viewed the opportunity to further their own interests or careers. It was a time before the term “Reality TV Star” evolved. The 1994 cast didn’t come on the show knowing that they would have a future as contestants on something called The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. They didn’t have a cool built-in job waiting for them. They also didn’t romance each other (although Rachel and Puck kissed and Judd and Pam got together after the show and later married). The latest Real World Hollywood cast is living in a “house,” a movie set complete with a security fence. They have a cool job at an improv theater, but they spend most of their time nursing hangovers and bickering. What cracks me up about this cast is that they call each other “douche-bags.” Who resurrected this term from the 1980’s? They even talk in douche-bag code “He’s a D.B.” Maybe I’ll watch another episode to see if they can become like more wickedly awesome, f***ing a……

PJ