Tamra Barney takes out the trash {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

January 14, 2009

Viewers were surely annoyed that they had to wait a half hour before getting to the “Drunk Gretchen” scene at Tamra’s so called formal dinner party, a party so embarrassingly distasteful, I thought the hired chef, Brian Malarkey, might torch the entire table with his fire-themed deserts.  The big storyline “Tamra gets Gretchen drunk to bring out Gretchen’s dark side,” apparently backfired on Tamra when Gretchen and Tamra’s son, Ryan, looked like they were

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

going to “hook up.”  Ironically, Tamra stated in an interview segment that a person’s actions are more important to her than what a person says.  She was referring to Gretchen, but Tamra might have well been looking in a mirror. Gretchen has no one to blame but herself for drinking too much Tequila, but Tamra kept ordering her son to bring Gretchen shot after shot as well as encouraging everyone else to go along with her scheme.  The most entertaining part of this whole fiasco was that the other housewives looked mortified at what was happening.  It was clear that none of them wanted to be there; Jeana was the only one who made any attempt to socialize, and the husbands just sat back and watched as if they had front row seats to the WWE.

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

The men reminded me of the husbands from The Real Housewives of Atlanta who sat back at numerous dinner parties and watched their alpha wives mark their territory. Bottom line:  Tequila doesn’t lead to bad behavior, Tamra Barney does: she embarrassed herself, her guests, her etiquette teacher, the chef, her husband and his new Tequila brand business venture, and me—for admitting I watch this show.  Calling her son a “manwhore” didn’t help either, and hopefully that phrase will not become Ryan’s latest tattoo.  The funniest line from the show, however, did come from a tipsy Gretchen: I have big boobs, I con do what I want. Click here for Bravo TV’s rogue’s gallery of photos.

PJ

P.S. As of today, Vicki is the only housewife to write in about last night’s episode:

I had a great time at Tamra’s dinner party. It was fun getting all dressed up for a formal party at home instead of going out to a restaurant. All of our homes are so beautiful and I feel we don’t spend as much time in them as we should. It was amazing having Chef Brian Malarkey cook for us. It was overwhelming to watch how much work goes into the preparations for each dish. I have been to his restaurant Oceanaire in San Diego a few times, so it was nice to experience his menu and

Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki Gunvalson

talent at Tamra’s.

The only reason I made the comment at dinner about Lynne being so laid back was because I have never been around anyone like her before. It seems like nothing would ever bother her at all, and it doesn’t seem like she has a care in the world. Coming from me, Ms. Type-A Personality, it is nice to see someone with that level of calmness.

Yeah, right.  (I guess she forgot about almost vomiting over the oyster appetizers).

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More search term Q & A…from wedding tattoos to Yorkie puppy cuts

May 19, 2008

Searches for Nick and Mariah’s tattoos have led viewers to my blog, and I hope you all were not disappointed. Thanks to you, this post has a record of 935 views so far. Also popular were searches for Bear Grylls (Sorry, I couldn’t find the diarrhea video), Yorkshire Terrier aka “Yorkie” puppy cuts, and of course, there are those of you who are interested in spandex.

1) I’m looking for Mariah’s & Nick’s tattoos. Here’s a picture of Nick and Mariah’s tattoos from a comprehensive site vanashingtattoo.com. “Nick Cannon” is inked as the body of a butterfly tattoo on the small of her back. Incorporating Nick in a butterfly is meaningful symbol for Mariah compared to the “Mrs. Cannon” or “MC” tattoos rumored to have been inked on one of her butt cheeks.

2) Are their any pictures of tattoos for married couples? Check out tattoojohnny’s designs for ideas.

3) Is Bear Grylls a model? Bear reveals more about himself on his You Tube channel. If you go there, you can send him a message. I don’t think Bear is moonlighting as a model, but you can buy a Bear Grylls Rocks T- shirt.

4) I want to know more about Spandex. Click here to learn all about this versatile fabric, and here to purchase some for yourself.

5) Do you have any pictures of Yorkie puppy cuts?


Mariah and Nick say tatoos, not diamonds, are forever {Chelsea Lately}

May 9, 2008

Thursday night on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler and her round-table guests, mused over Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s recent nuptials. The newlyweds apparently chose to get tattoos rather than exchange rings to commemorate their marriage. According to Nick (via People Magazine) tattoos are better than rings; they “professed our love and they hurt.” Nick chose to have “M-A-R-I-A-H” tramp-stamped across his back, whereas Mariah had “Nick” inked into one of her buns-of-steel. The round-table weighed in:

Jason Kennedy (E! News Correspondent): This is not henna, folks, this is permanent.

Chelsea: Let me say Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson, their tattoos worked. I mean they stayed together even while they were married to other people.

LaVell Crawford (Comedian): I mean Nick, why he got a big-all-over-his-back Mariah, and she got it right on her butt-cheek, look like a crap stain or something like that…I can’t even read hers, does it say Mrs. Cannon or Mrs. Can? I know why he did it because her album is doing way better than his ever did…

Chelsea: They said they flew down two commercial jets filled with lobsters for the wedding. Can you imagine how pissed you’d be if you were in coach and there’s a lobster up front?

Arden Myrin (Mad TV): They were in the Bahamas, like can’t you get a lobster? Do you have to fly them in?…I think they were trying to upstage Jay z and Beoncee.

LaVell: I think those tattoos are temporary. I think he can lick them off in a Cracker Jack box.

PJ (From Her Laptop): Is it the new fad to bring along a trusted tattoo artist and his equipment to a proposal rather than a diamond ring ? I’d take a ring any day, even if I had buns-of-steel.

Have a nice weekend,

PJ


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