Rock of Love Charm School vs. Playboy Mansion

December 1, 2008

It’s sometimes not easy to explain the differences between one Reality TV show and another, even when the differences are obvious.  Side by side, here’s a look at two shows that couldn’t be more different, yet are strangely similar:

Rock of Love Charm School vs. Playboy Mansion’s Girls Next Door

Charm School Cast Dressed in Uniform

Charm School Cast Dressed in Uniform

1) Bitches in Heat vs. Bunnies in Love

2) Fuchsia Highlights vs. Pampered Peroxide

3) Sharon Osbourne, Headmistress  vs. Hugh Hefner, Headmaster

4) Charm School Pins vs. Playboy Bunny Diamond Necklaces

5) One Girl Eliminated Each Week vs. One (or more) Girls Move in Each Week

6) Censored language vs. Pixilated Body Parts

7) Competition for $100,000 Prize vs. Share Million Dollar Enterprise

The Girls next Door

The Girls Next Door Share the Love at the Playboy Mansion

8) Bret Michael’s Former Girlfriends vs. Hugh Hefner’s Past, Present,and Future Girlfriends

9) Learn New 10 Commandments vs. Live By The Golden Rule

10) Former Strippers vs. Former Hooters Girls

Although The Girls Next Door have moved on, and “random-ass hoe’s” have moved in, according to Kendra Wilkinson in an interview with Chelsea Handler, viewers will be able to reunite with their favorite Charm School girls on “Rock of Love Bus” premiering January 4th on VH1.

Pj

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What makes Heidi and Spencer newsworthy? {Chelsea Lately}

June 10, 2008

Chelsea Handler featured a story about Heidi and Spencer on her round-table last night. Heidi and Spencer, who are a couple from an almost-reality TV show The Hills, and are also a couple in “real life” as well should feel honored that they are a topic of discussion on Chelsea Lately. Why are they under the impression they are similar to Katie and Tom or Posh and Beck? They aren’t actors or singers (although Heidi has tried), or sports legends. They are feeding the media with these lame little anecdotes about themselves and we are supposed to be interested. last night I learned that they bought guns. Now if they were a high powered paparazzi-chased couple, this could be interesting to some people who have a lot of time on their hands, or perhaps if they were kind of nutty (like Brittany) this might be scary. But as Chelsea said, these two are “officially idiots.” I hope Chelsea stops giving them commentary because I never want to become bored with Chelsea’s material. So go away, “Spidey,” I want forget about you.

Pj


My favorite Bill O’ Reilly spoofs… {Chelsea Lately and others}

May 17, 2008

I can’t stop laughing at The O’ Reilly dance remix. (Warning: Bill O’ Reilly says some form of the F word about 43 times) O’ Reilly should know that any “blooper,” especially one with swear words in it, will be remixed and posted on the net long after the original becomes mundane. O’ Reilly’s outburst stemmed from the fact he has not kept up with the times; he was embarrassed that he didn’t know what “play us out” meant when he read it on the TelePrompter. The stage manager (the voice counting “and 5,4,3,2,…”) just wanted to finish the segment, and kept his cool when O’ Reilly started acting up. O’ Reilly’s on-the-spot change was almost archaic. Who “cuts albums” these days? (There is still a huge record collection in our basement, but the turntable has been broken for years) See the entire piece of footage on You Tube where even Howard Stern was impressed with they guy O’ Reilly was yelling at.

Comedian Chelsea Handler spoofed the video last night on Chelsea Lately. In the clip, Chelsea takes it a step forward by ripping the shirt off one round-table guest revealing his red bra, pulling a wig off writer Heather Mc Donald, and shooting her assistant, Chuy, with a bow and arrow.

On the air, O’ Reilly appears more on-edge than edgy, like he’s sleep-deprived and has taken a few too many No Doz. His delivery is often sensationalistic like that of Dr. Phil, so here is a video that puts these two men’s sound bytes against each other.O’ Reilly vs. Dr. Phil

O’ Reilly should take a lesson from Bret Michaels, who thought the Saturday Night Live parody of his show, Rock of Love II, was hilarious.

PJ


Mariah and Nick say tatoos, not diamonds, are forever {Chelsea Lately}

May 9, 2008

Thursday night on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler and her round-table guests, mused over Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s recent nuptials. The newlyweds apparently chose to get tattoos rather than exchange rings to commemorate their marriage. According to Nick (via People Magazine) tattoos are better than rings; they “professed our love and they hurt.” Nick chose to have “M-A-R-I-A-H” tramp-stamped across his back, whereas Mariah had “Nick” inked into one of her buns-of-steel. The round-table weighed in:

Jason Kennedy (E! News Correspondent): This is not henna, folks, this is permanent.

Chelsea: Let me say Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson, their tattoos worked. I mean they stayed together even while they were married to other people.

LaVell Crawford (Comedian): I mean Nick, why he got a big-all-over-his-back Mariah, and she got it right on her butt-cheek, look like a crap stain or something like that…I can’t even read hers, does it say Mrs. Cannon or Mrs. Can? I know why he did it because her album is doing way better than his ever did…

Chelsea: They said they flew down two commercial jets filled with lobsters for the wedding. Can you imagine how pissed you’d be if you were in coach and there’s a lobster up front?

Arden Myrin (Mad TV): They were in the Bahamas, like can’t you get a lobster? Do you have to fly them in?…I think they were trying to upstage Jay z and Beoncee.

LaVell: I think those tattoos are temporary. I think he can lick them off in a Cracker Jack box.

PJ (From Her Laptop): Is it the new fad to bring along a trusted tattoo artist and his equipment to a proposal rather than a diamond ring ? I’d take a ring any day, even if I had buns-of-steel.

Have a nice weekend,

PJ


Elizabeth Berkley claims, “So many shows celebrate people who don’t really have anything” {Chelsea Lately}

May 8, 2008

On Chelsea Lately last night, special guest Elizabeth Berkley {Saved by the Bell, Showgirls,CSI Miami} said that the contestants on her show, Step It Up and Dance, “are professionals.” Berkley continued, “What sets the show apart is that people…”

“…have talent…I know, not like American Idol…” Chelsea Handler chimed in with her usual dry wit and sarcasm. Unfortunately, Berkley took the bait and blurted back, “Right, so many shows celebrate people who don’t have anything.” I’m not sure how Handler kept a straight face when she replied, “People who don’t really have…Hello?”

But talent is not what Reality TV is all about; if it was, Berkley would probably not have been selected to host Step It Up and Dance. Although Elizabeth Berkley has a few acting awards to her credit, she’s a new Bravo TV host mainly because of her infamous performance in Showgirls, for which she won a couple of “Razzies.” Realty TV is not about talent, it’s about finding talent. Reality TV is about people with potential fighting their way for a chance at more than 15 minutes of fame. I don’t watch Step It Up and Dance, but I saw a preview for the next episode. One of the professional dancers gets injured while trying to dance suspended in a cage ball. Then the judges tell them they’re all up for elimination. Will this be the first time an entire cast goes home at the same time? I won’t lose any sleep over the outcome. Berkley shouldn’t worry either; she’s got a supporting role in CSI Miami, a show that will be around a lot longer than Step It Up and Dance.

PJ

Left: Elizabeth Berkley with David Caruso on CSI Miami


Surreal Life: White House Edition? {Chelsea Lately}

April 29, 2008

I wish I could have seen the “famous” Reality TV stars mixing and mingling at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. According to comedian Chelsea Handler, who hosts her own late-night show, Chelsea Lately, Heidi and what’s-his-name from The Hills were there as well as Jessica Simpson and Miley Syrus, who’s show Hannah Montana, is sort of real. Chelsea herself was surprised to be invited and remarked that she felt as if she were cast in The Surreal Life: White House Edition.

I’m uneasy about blending of Reality TV with Capital Hill. Chelsea thinks a change of administration will change the surreal-life atmosphere, but I’m afraid we’re on a slippery slope to the land of tacky. What’s next in short-run-series Reality TV Genre? Recording artist Carnie Wilson will star in her 4th(?) reality series, Celebracadabra where celebs compete to become the next famous magician. OK. Why not make it more interesting and have contestants tame tigers? I have fond memories of Circus of the Stars. A variety show like that could become quite twisted if there were elimination contests involved! Maybe the winner of Celebracadabra could make guest appearances on the upcoming shows: Jennifer Lopez juggles (or jiggles) motherhood with…all that is involved with being J Lo; sugar-sweet couple Kelly Ripa and husband Mark Consuelos show us their sweet selves; and Denise Richards dispells all the rumors about her (I forgot what they were). It seems the direction of Reality TV will be more star-studded in the future. But as a fan of biographies and memoirs, I know that famous people don’t always lead the most interesting private lives. I’ll have to see if any of these new shows get any attention.

PJ


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