Jasper sent home, Nemo growled at Westies {Groomer Has It}

June 1, 2008

The alpha groomers (Kathleen, Jonathan, and Jorge) are happy that they have “gotten rid of” the lesser qualified groomers (yeah, they still think they control the outcome). Unfortunately for me, the show has now become officially boring! This episode did have promise: Having pet psychic (oops, I mean pet communicator–darling), Sonya Fitzpatrick, determine the dog’s feelings about being groomed, and watching little Nemo growl at the Westies. Go Nemo! Jorge had another funny quote: “Everyone knows about Sonya Fitzpatrick. I was just hoping my dog had good things to say about me.” And watching Artist and Jasper’s friendship was heartwarming. I was sad to see Jasper leave, especially for a mistake on the ears of his Portuguese Water Dog. Jonathan didn’t do a great job either, and he had a “cheat sheet” which showed the proper lion cut. Wasn’t Jonathan supposed to prove that he could groom more than poodles? The judging on this show is as confusing as figure skating’s! Next week the groomers will groom shelter dogs. It looks like Kathleen will have a moral crisis: to pick a matted Shitzu she wants to save, or a dog that is easier to groom who will better her chances at winning. What do you think she’ll do? I’m still rooting for Artist to win!

PJ

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Jessica sent home becuase of an “easy” Golden Retriever {Groomer Has It}

May 26, 2008

For the “On the Cover” elimination challenge, groomers found dogs at the Long Beach Recreational Dog Park to model for a chance to be featured on an upcoming cover of Groomer To Groomer magazine. Jessica was sent home this week because she chose a Golden Retriever named Puget who, according to the judges, was “too easy to groom” for a “Western Dog” themed photograph.

Groomer To Groomer magazine features “editorial” cover photographs, and I learned from watching America’s Next Top Model that “editorial” means artsy and fashion-forward. According to eliminated grommer Sarah Grace’s blog, guest judge Emily Willis,Vice President of Creative Services for Groomer To Groomer, “explains that they want to show a professional groom on the cover, but also one that demonstrates creativity.” However, on the Groomer To Groomer web-page, there are two past covers that don’t feature creative cuts (the third is a dog groomed to look like a basketball).

Aside from the winner, Kathleen, whom Artist said her “Circus Dog,” Scruffy, looked like he had been dipped in acid, the judges had negative feedback for everyone. In the end, Jorge squeaked by based on his results in past challenges. Not only did Jorge do a poor job of grooming Chloe, an American Cocker Spaniel, but he appeared to have “walked his dog through paint” according to Jessica. (Personally, I would have selected the Harlequin Great Dane (below left) that was at the dog park for a “Formal Dog” themed photo shoot because his coat had tuxedo colors)

Despite the judges’ criticisms about Jonathan being a poodle-only groomer, Emily Willis liked Jonathan’s “Disco Dog” themed poodle the best, even though the fur resembled a big cloud of blue cotton candy. Jonathan also trimmed the head of his poodle in an attempt to create an afro. (Huh?)

Jasper and Artist put forth the most effort this week: Jasper groomed and painted his Terrier mix to look like a “Super Football Fan,” complete with a “hairy chest and hairy back.” The hairy chest/back feature thoroughly grossed out metro-sexual judge Xavier, but proved that Jasper can be creative. Artist challenged himself by choosing a Briard, a breed of dog he has only seen once in South Central for a “Rock and Roll” themed photo.

I can’t wait for next week because the dogs will judge the groomers (via a pet psychic) to select a winner. This will be a first for Reality TV!

PJ



Artist triumphant in “Chow Time” Challenge {Groomer Has It}

May 18, 2008

I usually don’t react strongly to what’s happening on TV, but I was mortified when Kathleen put a muzzle on Zoro, her Chow Chow, before giving him a bath. How much damage can a dog do when tied up in a washtub? Zoro, who according to the judges had a nice personality, was scared and helpless trying to bat Kathleen away with his front paw. Imagine taking your Chow to Kathleen because she has all this grooming experience, only to later find out she insisted on muzzling your dog because of her “issues.” I hope Kathleen can digest the hunk of humble pie she was served this week.

Chow Chows by nature are one-owner dogs and are very protective. They are are naturally suspicious of strangers, so the groomers’ challenge this week was to remain calm and win over their dogs’ trust. Kathleen, Artist, and Jorge had all been bitten by Chow Chows before. Kathleen and Jorge dealt with this professional shortcoming by not grooming this breed. But Artist said he had to groom 10-12 dogs/cats a day just to pay the bills and to feed him and his son (including “dogs from the pound and three legged cats”). Artist put on his army boots and psyched himself up for the Chow Time Challenge, not even packing a suitcase in case he lost. “Why would I pack if I’m not going home?” he said. Jasper and Artist were selected as the best groomers this week, but it was a confident Artist who prevailed. I thought Jessica deserved to be recognized, but for the fact that she didn’t use her “leg up” prize from her Quick Sniff Challenge win (5 minutes with her Chow’s owner to calm the dog down).

Kathleen and Will ended up at the bottom, and Will was sent home for not grooming the Chow to the breed standards. His dog looked great, but she did not look like a Chow Chow; she looked like “an American Eskimo.” Will made the mistake of thinking that “the haircut varies” and “you pretty much can do whatever you want.”

(Above: American Eskimo dogs)

There were some funny moments, too.

1) Jon and his double entendres: “Kathleen didn’t really know how to use her nuts. Me? I go crazy for nuts all the time.”

2) Poor messenger dog, Nemo, had to watch the groomers bake dog treats in the “only five star dog bakery,” Three Dog Bakery and not be allowed to do a taste test.

3) Jorge’s comment: “How hard can it be to make dog biscuit? A dog eats his own poop, sometimes.”

4) Jessica’s winning dog treat was based on her commitment to her ingredient, cheese.

5) Animal Planet censoring Jessica’s cigarette habit by pix-elating her hand while she was smoking. OK, now the Veterinarian Judge, Karen “Doc” Halligan, had a habit of lifting each Chow Chow’s tail and examining it’s you-know-what. I finally found something worse than second hand smoke. By the way, did you see the look Judge Joey Villani gave her? They can’t stand each other! I’d love to see him pull a Bill O’ Reilly freak out!

Groomer Has It is seeking applications for Season Two. I’m not sure if it’s possible to find another cast as amusing as the current bunch.

PJ


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