Jasper sent home, Nemo growled at Westies {Groomer Has It}

June 1, 2008

The alpha groomers (Kathleen, Jonathan, and Jorge) are happy that they have “gotten rid of” the lesser qualified groomers (yeah, they still think they control the outcome). Unfortunately for me, the show has now become officially boring! This episode did have promise: Having pet psychic (oops, I mean pet communicator–darling), Sonya Fitzpatrick, determine the dog’s feelings about being groomed, and watching little Nemo growl at the Westies. Go Nemo! Jorge had another funny quote: “Everyone knows about Sonya Fitzpatrick. I was just hoping my dog had good things to say about me.” And watching Artist and Jasper’s friendship was heartwarming. I was sad to see Jasper leave, especially for a mistake on the ears of his Portuguese Water Dog. Jonathan didn’t do a great job either, and he had a “cheat sheet” which showed the proper lion cut. Wasn’t Jonathan supposed to prove that he could groom more than poodles? The judging on this show is as confusing as figure skating’s! Next week the groomers will groom shelter dogs. It looks like Kathleen will have a moral crisis: to pick a matted Shitzu she wants to save, or a dog that is easier to groom who will better her chances at winning. What do you think she’ll do? I’m still rooting for Artist to win!

PJ

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Jessica sent home becuase of an “easy” Golden Retriever {Groomer Has It}

May 26, 2008

For the “On the Cover” elimination challenge, groomers found dogs at the Long Beach Recreational Dog Park to model for a chance to be featured on an upcoming cover of Groomer To Groomer magazine. Jessica was sent home this week because she chose a Golden Retriever named Puget who, according to the judges, was “too easy to groom” for a “Western Dog” themed photograph.

Groomer To Groomer magazine features “editorial” cover photographs, and I learned from watching America’s Next Top Model that “editorial” means artsy and fashion-forward. According to eliminated grommer Sarah Grace’s blog, guest judge Emily Willis,Vice President of Creative Services for Groomer To Groomer, “explains that they want to show a professional groom on the cover, but also one that demonstrates creativity.” However, on the Groomer To Groomer web-page, there are two past covers that don’t feature creative cuts (the third is a dog groomed to look like a basketball).

Aside from the winner, Kathleen, whom Artist said her “Circus Dog,” Scruffy, looked like he had been dipped in acid, the judges had negative feedback for everyone. In the end, Jorge squeaked by based on his results in past challenges. Not only did Jorge do a poor job of grooming Chloe, an American Cocker Spaniel, but he appeared to have “walked his dog through paint” according to Jessica. (Personally, I would have selected the Harlequin Great Dane (below left) that was at the dog park for a “Formal Dog” themed photo shoot because his coat had tuxedo colors)

Despite the judges’ criticisms about Jonathan being a poodle-only groomer, Emily Willis liked Jonathan’s “Disco Dog” themed poodle the best, even though the fur resembled a big cloud of blue cotton candy. Jonathan also trimmed the head of his poodle in an attempt to create an afro. (Huh?)

Jasper and Artist put forth the most effort this week: Jasper groomed and painted his Terrier mix to look like a “Super Football Fan,” complete with a “hairy chest and hairy back.” The hairy chest/back feature thoroughly grossed out metro-sexual judge Xavier, but proved that Jasper can be creative. Artist challenged himself by choosing a Briard, a breed of dog he has only seen once in South Central for a “Rock and Roll” themed photo.

I can’t wait for next week because the dogs will judge the groomers (via a pet psychic) to select a winner. This will be a first for Reality TV!

PJ



Malissa loses cat fight {Groomer Has It}

May 11, 2008

I really want to like Malissa, but on Groomer Has It this week, she made it difficult for me to take her seriously. After telling us that she knows the difference between stuffed animals and real animals, she actually managed to get “bitten” by a stuffed German Sheppard. Later she said she had a “seventh sense,” realizing later that there are only 5 senses. The worst mistake was cutting off a cat’s whiskers after a judge told the groomers specifically “do not scissor the face or cut the whiskers.” That’s actually a mean thing to do because cats use their whiskers to judge distances. So Malissa went home. It was no contest between Malissa and Artist, who ended up at the bottom because he lost confidence when his cat “boo-booed three times; three times it put chocolate truffles on my table.” Mean Kathleen said that Malissa “is an insult to my gender,” but Kathleen is not impressive when it comes to her interpersonal skills (although she won “best in show” this week for cat grooming). Kathleen impressed the judges by knowing her role in the process: “I am her (the cat’s) servant, I am not her friend.” OK, but I wouldn’t claim cat worshiping as a credit to our gender, either.

What’s the difference between grooming a cat vs a dog? According to Jorge, dogs want to please you, but with a cat, “you have to please them…basically, they’re like a woman; you have to tell them what they want to hear, and they’ll work with you.” Jessica, the resident cat groomer, also had a difficult time with her cat. Earlier Jessica had begun to show claws in her personality, prompting Jorge to say, “I would like to put a muzzle on Jessica.”

Last week I wondered what CPR had to do with dog grooming, but this week I learned that a good groomer needs to know basic animal first aid in case of an emergency. The groomers had some pretty funny things to say before the Quick Sniff Challenge (performing 3 different types of first aid on three different dogs–2 stuffed animals and a CPR dog).

Jon: The CPR dog looked kind of like a stuffed-bear-sloth-creature. It needed a brushing.

Will: That CPR dog was crazy looking…I’m not putting my mouth on that thing, no way girlfriend.

Jorge: I had given a little Yorkie CPR and he had the worst breath.

Artist: You can’t be walking around with your scissors in your hand saying ‘I can give a Continental Cut like nobody’s business’…you’ve got to be solid.

Next week: Chow-Chow Challenge


Small dog groomers had a leg up in challenge {Groomer Has It}

April 28, 2008

On Animal Planet’s Groomer Has It, dogs are people too. Puppy size mattered when volunteers handed over their puppies to Reality TV groomers for the third challenge. Will was awarded the “top dog” prize because he showered his Pomeranian puppy with hugs and kisses. The judges were sympathetic to Will’s transformation; last week, they poo-pooed Will for using the wrong brush on a Bearded Collie. This week Will was determined to show how much “he loves dogs.” Sadly Jon was told to “leave the doghouse” after “failing to meet the grooming standards of the puppy grooming challenge.” Never mind that Jon’s puppy was a Great Pyrenese and with the exception of the Leonberger, was the size of a full grown Labrador Retriever! Contestants who were given small dogs definitely had the advantage with the 90 minute time frame. But they had to please the owners of small dogs who are very picky about their dog’s appearance. Groomers of small dogs make house calls and call themselves “dog stylists” instead of “dog groomers.” Kathleen, the”Quick Sniff” contest winner, was the only groomer allowed to choose her puppy, a white Pomeranian named Princess who arrived wearing a little red skirt. The rest were given their puppies at random, and it took poor Jon a full hour just to dry fur of the giant Pyrenese pup. This left him little time for the actual “grooming/styling” phase. Jon chose to focus on styling the fur on the puppy’s head because did not have time take care of the other end. The judges offered him no sympathy and bolted from their chairs and headed right for the tail. It wasn’t fair that the judges didn’t scrutinize the other groomers, and I wish Jon could have summoned Tyra Banks to give his dog “a Brazillian Booty Facial.” The moral of the story? Who cares if there’s a Writier’s Strike when you have shows like Grommer Has It? Next week the contestants have to design doggy outfits–another contest where size matters. What does designing clothes have to do with dog grooming? It doesn’t really matter becuase until Project Runway begins, I’m watching Groomer Has It.

See ya’

PJ


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