Thongate’s a new segment on “The Soup”

Mankini and McHale on The Soup

Inspired by a viewer’s email last week, The Soup‘s Joel McHale introduced a new and ever more bizarre segment called “Thongate“, a clip from All My Children where actor, Cameron Mathison, turns around and reveals the top a black thong before making a dramatic exit from a room.

Just when I think no one watches this stuff but me, this week The Soup revealed that the mainstream maidens of The View sanctioned a few seconds of their precious airtime to Thongate.  However, The View one-upped The Soup with a “surprised” entrance by Mathison who walked onstage, and stopping next to Barbara Walters, turned around, pointed to his backside exclaiming, “This is how it was–here we go: T-shirt! T-shirt!  It was a T-shirt caught in the pants! T-shirt!”

McHale and his co-stars, Mankini and the Spaghetti Eating Cat, didn’t buy it. “You are a lying freak, Mathison!” said Mankini.   Accordingly, McHale said a viewer survey showed that 94% agreed.

The Soup's Spaghetti Cat

Check Out My Thong

Decide for yourself:  Click here for video clip and story.

Sloppy editing and talent improvisation continue to provide material for The Soup.  Another Soup segment, Is Al Roker Talking About Semen? featured  The Today Show‘s Al Roker exclaiming, “Live on Five: Hold the Mayo!” after Ann “Good morning- Good morning” Curry was cold and had just asked Roker and Lauer to hug her, thus making an “Ann Sandwhich.”

Ann Curry chillin'

Producers need to encourage their talent to stick to the script, less they become future fodder for E!‘s  and VH1‘s popular clip shows.

PJ

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Will Wii Fit get me into the Mii Generation?

This morning I checked out the Wii Website, and found an answer to the question I had been looking for:

Why do I need Wii?

Wii is not just a gaming console, it’s a reason to get together with your friends and family and play today’s hottest games. Wii offers legendary Nintendo franchises like Mario, Zelda and Metroid, as well as all new classics like Wii Sports and Wii Play. Create your own Mii character to star in Wii games. Play friends online over Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection or use the Internet Channel to surf the net from your sofa. You can even download classic Nintendo games using the Wii Shop Channel. Take a look around and see why your TV is not complete without Wii.

The people at Wii know that keeping up with technology can be overwhelming; the atmosphere of their website minimalistic, uncluttered, and spa-like (the polar opposite of MySpace). I feel like I’m at IKEA with Feng Shui. The demonstration videos for the Wii Fit remind me of the scene in The Matrix where Morpheus trains Neo to live in the grid. However, Wii is not asking me to live in their world, but to reinvent my world with the Wii brand. Apparently, the future is now.

This change is not new. I remember eating my first TV Dinner in the early 70’s (a ready made dinner in an aluminum tray that was shaped like a TV set). Our family moved out of the dining room and into the living room to eat dinner in front of the TV Set. You were supposed to eat TV Dinners on a TV Tray. TV Trays were sold in sets of four and each tray folded out in front of you on a little stand. Thanks in part to the invention of the TV Dinner, I literally grew up in front of television. My grandmother liked to cook big Sunday dinners for us at her house and she never understood why we didn’t enjoy “dinner conversation.” In her day, family members looked forward to the eventing meal to catch up on each others’ lives and share town gossip. I remember my grandfather loved Soul Train and my grandmother had a hard time getting him to turn off the TV and come to dinner. Despite owning a big RCA Television Console, She held on to family dinner by never buying a TV Dinner or a set of TV Trays.

Now the Nintendo Corporation is asking families to leave their individual TV sets and video consoles and congregate together in front of the ole’ Family TV. Their motives are admirable, but do I need a Wii to have “quality family time?” Of course, sitting for hours in front of the TV is not good for you, so the makers of Wii have come up with the Wii Fit, so we all can stay active and remain together. I’m skeptical about the Wii Fit. Take a look at the Wii Fit Promo video vs. the Parody, and you’ll see why.

When I was little, we always had a bunch of neighborhood kids over at our house. Our backyard was small, but we had a sand box, a tree house, and something called a “whirli-gig.” We also shared a driveway with our next door neighbors so we could make a bike track out of chalk and ride around. We also had a kiddie pool which we set up as a bike wash. It seems that in order to have a house that kids want to come to, I need to own a Wii. A nearby park isn’t a gathering place anymore, and that makes me sad. My big Orwellian fear is that the outside world will become so undesirable, that Wii Fit is a necessity. I wonder if by purchasing a Wii, am I giving in to the possibility that I can’t think of anything else to do. Hopefully, there is a balanced middle ground. If I join the Wii/Mii Generation, I want it to be a positive change, and I welcome any of your stories and/or comments.

PJ

My favorite Bill O’ Reilly spoofs… {Chelsea Lately and others}

I can’t stop laughing at The O’ Reilly dance remix. (Warning: Bill O’ Reilly says some form of the F word about 43 times) O’ Reilly should know that any “blooper,” especially one with swear words in it, will be remixed and posted on the net long after the original becomes mundane. O’ Reilly’s outburst stemmed from the fact he has not kept up with the times; he was embarrassed that he didn’t know what “play us out” meant when he read it on the TelePrompter. The stage manager (the voice counting “and 5,4,3,2,…”) just wanted to finish the segment, and kept his cool when O’ Reilly started acting up. O’ Reilly’s on-the-spot change was almost archaic. Who “cuts albums” these days? (There is still a huge record collection in our basement, but the turntable has been broken for years) See the entire piece of footage on You Tube where even Howard Stern was impressed with they guy O’ Reilly was yelling at.

Comedian Chelsea Handler spoofed the video last night on Chelsea Lately. In the clip, Chelsea takes it a step forward by ripping the shirt off one round-table guest revealing his red bra, pulling a wig off writer Heather Mc Donald, and shooting her assistant, Chuy, with a bow and arrow.

On the air, O’ Reilly appears more on-edge than edgy, like he’s sleep-deprived and has taken a few too many No Doz. His delivery is often sensationalistic like that of Dr. Phil, so here is a video that puts these two men’s sound bytes against each other.O’ Reilly vs. Dr. Phil

O’ Reilly should take a lesson from Bret Michaels, who thought the Saturday Night Live parody of his show, Rock of Love II, was hilarious.

PJ

Tom Cruise seeks Oprah to help America forget “The Couch”

What prompted Tom Cruise to emerge from his million dollar bunker in Colarado and talk to Oprah? The Couch. I believe Tom wants us to forget all about The Couch, not just move on, but erase it from our memory. But it’s Cruise who can’t let it go; he could go on Oprah 100 more times and the backlash from The Couch will still haunt him. Cruise, in my opinion, is a big control freak who lacks a sense of humor! He doesn’t want the couch-jumping-episode to be his legacy. On his own couch in Colorado, he told Oprah “it was a moment.” It just kills Cruise that people have remembered and mocked his TV appearances. Tom Cruise is a man who wants to be taken seriously. Unfortunately (for him), when left unscripted, he’s hilarious because he takes himself too seriously. I think what prompted these latest reappearances is that the tabloid press continues to print and reprint the real and imagined details of his marriage to Katie Holmes. Tom and Katie try to rebut these stories by plastering themselves all over magazines of their choosing; they want what J Lo and M Anthony have: a mainstream (of sorts) magazine who visits by appointment and takes carefully choreographed photos of the their family acting normal. But it’s too late now because Tom has become official fodder for the tabloid press. So whatever actions he takes, there will be an equal reaction/backlash from the tabloids and the blogs and the YouTube crowd. So Tom better hurry up and make another movie–he is a talented actor, in my opinion, as well as a talented film producer. We need to see more of Tom doing what he does best on camera—acting, not interviewing.

As for that darn couch? If Oprah wants to get Cruise, she’ll auction off The Couch on one of her shows. Why would she want to get back at Cruise? Well, he didn’t invite her to his wedding. He invited Brooke Shields (after she went on Oprah to rebut what Tom said about her). Oprah allegedly sent him a note saying she’d be out of town on the weekend of Cruise’s wedding once she heard that the invitations were sent out! But Cruise, ever mindful of his image, didn’t want to allign himself with Oprah and her couch. You’ve got to feel sorry for The Couch–it’s become an innocent victim in this sorted ordeal! The Smithsonion Institution has a collection of famous TV furniture (Archie and Edith’s armchairs from All in the Family, for example) and I’m sure that they’ll be asking Oprah to donate The Couch. What she does when that happens will reveal a lot about Oprah and her alliances. I’ll write more about Oprah some other time, but meanwhile, here’s what all the hoopla’s been about.

The following links will take you right into YouTube. I neither created nor posted these videos on YouTube, I just thought they best showed off Tom’s wacky “moments” in TV history. The first one has been edited and sped up by it’s creator for laughs!Video of the famous “Couch Episode”

Next is a short video of Tom’s views on medication and psychiatry in an interview with The Today Show’s Matt Lauer. It has been shortened by its editor to highlight Cruise’s intensity.

Another time, Cruise went on television to explain the Church of Scientology. In this single appearance, Tom managed to make himself and Scientology look strange and scary at the same time. Remakes of this interview got really weird: See this Video parody of Tom Cruise’s commitment to Scientology and decide for yourself.

Personally, I don’t think we can forget about The Couch. For me it represents one of the reasons Amercia is a fun place to live! Lighten up, Tom.

Your Fan,

PJ

Bear Grylls is trying hard to be an anti-role model {Best Week Ever}

National Geographic Discovery Channel has lawsuit waiting to happen with Man vs. Wild. Host Bear Grylls’s gross-out appeal is just made for bored tween-aged boys needing another excuse to injure insects and animals. I can hear it now: “Hey dad, the Beaver and I are going outside to play Man vs. Wild. It’s OK, Dad, it’s the Discovery Channel.”

As highlighted on VH1’s Best Week Ever:

Adam Winer (writer): Bear went on to cook more bugs, cut off fish heads, stab a frog into a tree, and dig into a rotting carcass.

Bear: This should be cooked, but it’s not the time nor the place to start a fire!

John Mulaney (comedian): No. this is a good time to start a fire; when you have raw meat, it’s the best time.

Paul Scheer: (actor/comedian): But like all bindgers, all that eating caught up with him and…wow…yikes!

Bear: I think I have to stop here for two seconds; this diarrhea is not waiting for anyone.

PJ: Lovely. I don’t get it. He’s not a contestant in a game show, he can’t possibly be making a documentary, so what’s his point? I’m not impressed with Mr. Bear.

Moving on and lightening up– a highlight of this week’s Best Week Ever was Brooke White , an American Idol eliminated contestant, parodying herself with an infomercial, “Brooke White: Stop and Sing the Classics,” which was as good, if not better, than a Saturday Night Live sketch! Brooke’s ability to laugh at herself is worthy of a role model!

PJ

Memo to Candidates: How far will you go to get my vote? {Best Week Ever}

I’m always up for a good laugh, but not when Presidential Candidates make a mockery of the democratic process. The commentators on VH1’s Best Week Ever remarked that Americans witnessed the end of democracy when Senators Clinton, Obama, and McCain made appearances (via satellite) on WWE. So I ask the candidates if they would consider a few more challenges? How far out of the box (or out of their minds) are they willing to go to get our votes? I drafted the following memo of future suggestions:

TO: The 2008 Presidential Candidates

FROM: An American Citizen and Registered Voter

SUBJECT: How far will you go to Get My Vote?

Dear Senators:

Thank you for participating in the latest WWE match aired on the USA network. Your appearances generated hope for Americans that you three will go to great lengths to make us want you to be our next president. How much farther are you willing to go? I have generated a list of possibilities for your consideration:

1) WWE will have a rematch at the Democratic National Convention. At the Republican Convention, John McCain, Ron Paul, and Mike Huckabee will hold a Dance Dance Revolution contest. The Independents will celebrate Earth Day again.

2) The Electoral College will be comprised of veterans, inner-city high school teachers, and Oprah’s Book Club.

3) The President will appoint a new Committee for Celebrity Assistance. Celebrities will be on call to visit victims of natural disasters and sign autographs.

4) The Inaugural Ball parties will focus on honoring the men and women who serve or have served in our armed forces. Note to VP: You will be required to serve punch.

3) Military bands will now be playing at the funerals of fallen soldiers and at US airports to officially welcome our soldiers home. If you insist that someone play Hail to the Chief when you walk in a room, hire your own DJ.

4) Televised debates are annoying, so the next debates will be between Nationally Syndicated Talk Radio hosts. This time you candidates will ask the questions and the media will just shut up for once.

5) The American taxpayers will no longer furnish your private apartments in the White House. You may bring your own furniture, or buy furniture off of Craig’s List like everyone else.

6) The exterior of the White House will remain white, but inside it’s all green, baby! (No more indoor plumbing).

7) All State Dinners will be Pot-Luck.

8) All flights on Air Force One must be corporate sponsored. I have to find money to pay for fuel, so why shouldn’t you?

9) Official speeches will be written by local 7th and 8th grade winners of the Power of the Pen contest.

10) The Department of Education will change to the Department of Homeland Citizenship (DHC). The DHC will be responsible for helping immigrants pass the citizenship test and receive the documents they need to go to college. You will have to trust elected officials of state and local government take responsibility of public education.

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Cc: American Public