A Nation of Village People {Judge Judy}

January 14, 2009

hillary-clinton-book1

hilary-clinton-bwSenator and soon to be Secretary of State  Hilary Clinton could probably feel her ears (and cankles) burning when Mr. Weston, a defendant on Judge Judy, gave his exit interview  yesterday.  Judge Judy had dismissed Mr. Weston’s case of false arrest for assault with a deadly weapon when his neighbors claimed he had allegedly tried to run over his son with his car after being challenged to a fight.

Did he have anything to say to his neighbors?

Ready to Raise Your Child

Ready to Raise Your Child

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD, AND THEY ARE NOT VILLAGE PEOPLE


Next case….

PJ



Tamra Barney takes out the trash {The Real Housewives of Orange County}

January 14, 2009

Viewers were surely annoyed that they had to wait a half hour before getting to the “Drunk Gretchen” scene at Tamra’s so called formal dinner party, a party so embarrassingly distasteful, I thought the hired chef, Brian Malarkey, might torch the entire table with his fire-themed deserts.  The big storyline “Tamra gets Gretchen drunk to bring out Gretchen’s dark side,” apparently backfired on Tamra when Gretchen and Tamra’s son, Ryan, looked like they were

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

Tamra's son, Ryan, brings out "The Dark Side of Gretchen"

going to “hook up.”  Ironically, Tamra stated in an interview segment that a person’s actions are more important to her than what a person says.  She was referring to Gretchen, but Tamra might have well been looking in a mirror. Gretchen has no one to blame but herself for drinking too much Tequila, but Tamra kept ordering her son to bring Gretchen shot after shot as well as encouraging everyone else to go along with her scheme.  The most entertaining part of this whole fiasco was that the other housewives looked mortified at what was happening.  It was clear that none of them wanted to be there; Jeana was the only one who made any attempt to socialize, and the husbands just sat back and watched as if they had front row seats to the WWE.

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

Simon Barney in his pre-Tequila days

The men reminded me of the husbands from The Real Housewives of Atlanta who sat back at numerous dinner parties and watched their alpha wives mark their territory. Bottom line:  Tequila doesn’t lead to bad behavior, Tamra Barney does: she embarrassed herself, her guests, her etiquette teacher, the chef, her husband and his new Tequila brand business venture, and me—for admitting I watch this show.  Calling her son a “manwhore” didn’t help either, and hopefully that phrase will not become Ryan’s latest tattoo.  The funniest line from the show, however, did come from a tipsy Gretchen: I have big boobs, I con do what I want. Click here for Bravo TV’s rogue’s gallery of photos.

PJ

P.S. As of today, Vicki is the only housewife to write in about last night’s episode:

I had a great time at Tamra’s dinner party. It was fun getting all dressed up for a formal party at home instead of going out to a restaurant. All of our homes are so beautiful and I feel we don’t spend as much time in them as we should. It was amazing having Chef Brian Malarkey cook for us. It was overwhelming to watch how much work goes into the preparations for each dish. I have been to his restaurant Oceanaire in San Diego a few times, so it was nice to experience his menu and

Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki Gunvalson

talent at Tamra’s.

The only reason I made the comment at dinner about Lynne being so laid back was because I have never been around anyone like her before. It seems like nothing would ever bother her at all, and it doesn’t seem like she has a care in the world. Coming from me, Ms. Type-A Personality, it is nice to see someone with that level of calmness.

Yeah, right.  (I guess she forgot about almost vomiting over the oyster appetizers).


Thongate’s a new segment on “The Soup”

December 17, 2008
Mankini and McHale on The Soup

Mankini and McHale on The Soup

Inspired by a viewer’s email last week, The Soups Joel McHale introduced a new and ever more bizarre segment called “Thongate“, a clip from All My Children where actor, Cameron Mathison, turns around and reveals the top a black thong before making a dramatic exit from a room.

Just when I think no one watches this stuff but me, this week The Soup revealed that the mainstream maidens of The View sanctioned a few seconds of their precious airtime to Thongate.  However, The View one-upped The Soup with a “surprised” entrance by Mathison who walked onstage, and stopping next to Barbara Walters, turned around, pointed to his backside exclaiming, “This is how it was–here we go: T-shirt! T-shirt!  It was a T-shirt caught in the pants! T-shirt!”

McHale and his co-stars, Mankini and the Spaghetti Eating Cat, didn’t buy it. “You are a lying freak, Mathison!” said Mankini.   Accordingly, McHale said a viewer survey showed that 94% agreed.

The Soup's Spaghetti Cat

The Soup's Spaghetti Cat

Check Out My Thong

Check Out My Thong

Decide for yourself:  Click here for video clip and story.

Sloppy editing and talent improvisation continue to provide material for The Soup.  Another Soup segment, Is Al Roker Talking About Semen? featured  The Today Show‘s Al Roker exclaiming, “Live on Five: Hold the Mayo!” after Ann “Good morning- Good morning” Curry was cold and had just asked Roker and Lauer to hug her, thus making an “Ann Sandwhich.”

Ann Curry chillin'

Ann Curry chillin'

Producers need to encourage their talent to stick to the script, less they become future fodder for E!‘s  and VH1‘s popular clip shows.

PJ


First family’s ranch could be Ellen and Portia’s wedding venue

May 28, 2008

On May 10th in Crawford, TX, the the first family let Jenna have her day away from the political climate in Washington, safely ensconced at the ranch surrounded by family, friends, and the Secret Service. I thought the first family’s first wedding would be a footnote in the mainstream press, but the May 26th edition of People Magazine featured the festivities on it’s cover. Jenna’s nuptials were given all the schmaltzy reporting schmooze of a celebrity wedding.

Although Jenna chose to have her wedding at the family ranch in Crawford, her plans to offer the ranch for weddings to her celebrity friends could generate the same excitement as White House weddings did in the past.

Check out ABC’s Jack Trapper’s blog post:

Political Punch

Power, pop, and probings from ABC News Senior National Correspondent Jake Tapper

Jake Tapper is ABC News’ Senior National Correspondent based in the network’s Washington bureau. He writes about politics and popular culture and covers a range of national stories.

Jenna Bush tells Ellen She Can Use the Ranch for Her Same-Sex Wedding

May 27, 2008 10:49 AM

–>People Magazine reports that in an appearance on Ellen to air this Wednesday, First Daughter Jenna Hager (nee Bush), sitting with her mother First Lady Laura Bush, tells Ellen DeGeneres that she can use the President’s ranch in Crawford for DeGeneres’ pending same-sex wedding with actress Portia de Rossi.

“So, the ranch was a great place to get married,” DeGeneres says, “it looked like nobody could fly over and get pictures or bother you, really.”

“Yeah,” says Hager, “that was really nice.”

“So, can we borrow it for our wedding,” DeGeneres asks. “Can we get the ranch?”

“Sure,” says Hager.

“Okay, great,” says DeGeneres.

– jpt

Jenna Bush is either a Republican Repel or an American Ambassador for Equal Rights. Hopefully, W will continue to support his daughter. Jenna’s post-wedding publicity tour for her charitable causes will most likely generate more press (both mainstream and tabloid) than her actual wedding.

It’s been 37 yeas since President Nixon’s youngest daughter, Trisha, had the first outdoor wedding at the White House.Trisha was featured on the cover of Life Magazine in 1971 as well in a multi-paged feature story showing off all her wedding gifts. In July of 1985, Life Magazine also featured Caroline Kennedy on the cover. She beat out Sarah, The Duchess York (aka Fergie) who wed Prince Andrew that month as well. There was synchronicity in both weddings in the same month: America had it’s royal family, too. Life reminisced about Caroline: how she rode her pony, Macaroni, on the White House lawn and how she posed for a wedding photo beside husband Ed Schlossberg on the beach where she “summered as a child.”

You can still get those happy feelings of yesteryear by reading blogs like dallasbrides.wordpress.com and weddingbee.com, whose writers have knit together past and present histories of family celebrations and American Presidents. I found the following links to be interesting:

1) The White House Weddings site

2) Family Life at the White House page at the official White House Website

3 ) NPR weighs in with their article White House Weddings: Fuel for Capitalism

4) Take a look at pictures of past white house wedding memorabilia (Circa. 1966 bag of rice, Circa. 1886 satin covered cake box) in the Life and Death at the White House page at The American Presidency website

PJ


Tom Cruise seeks Oprah to help America forget “The Couch”

May 10, 2008

What prompted Tom Cruise to emerge from his million dollar bunker in Colarado and talk to Oprah? The Couch. I believe Tom wants us to forget all about The Couch, not just move on, but erase it from our memory. But it’s Cruise who can’t let it go; he could go on Oprah 100 more times and the backlash from The Couch will still haunt him. Cruise, in my opinion, is a big control freak who lacks a sense of humor! He doesn’t want the couch-jumping-episode to be his legacy. On his own couch in Colorado, he told Oprah “it was a moment.” It just kills Cruise that people have remembered and mocked his TV appearances. Tom Cruise is a man who wants to be taken seriously. Unfortunately (for him), when left unscripted, he’s hilarious because he takes himself too seriously. I think what prompted these latest reappearances is that the tabloid press continues to print and reprint the real and imagined details of his marriage to Katie Holmes. Tom and Katie try to rebut these stories by plastering themselves all over magazines of their choosing; they want what J Lo and M Anthony have: a mainstream (of sorts) magazine who visits by appointment and takes carefully choreographed photos of the their family acting normal. But it’s too late now because Tom has become official fodder for the tabloid press. So whatever actions he takes, there will be an equal reaction/backlash from the tabloids and the blogs and the YouTube crowd. So Tom better hurry up and make another movie–he is a talented actor, in my opinion, as well as a talented film producer. We need to see more of Tom doing what he does best on camera—acting, not interviewing.

As for that darn couch? If Oprah wants to get Cruise, she’ll auction off The Couch on one of her shows. Why would she want to get back at Cruise? Well, he didn’t invite her to his wedding. He invited Brooke Shields (after she went on Oprah to rebut what Tom said about her). Oprah allegedly sent him a note saying she’d be out of town on the weekend of Cruise’s wedding once she heard that the invitations were sent out! But Cruise, ever mindful of his image, didn’t want to allign himself with Oprah and her couch. You’ve got to feel sorry for The Couch–it’s become an innocent victim in this sorted ordeal! The Smithsonion Institution has a collection of famous TV furniture (Archie and Edith’s armchairs from All in the Family, for example) and I’m sure that they’ll be asking Oprah to donate The Couch. What she does when that happens will reveal a lot about Oprah and her alliances. I’ll write more about Oprah some other time, but meanwhile, here’s what all the hoopla’s been about.

The following links will take you right into YouTube. I neither created nor posted these videos on YouTube, I just thought they best showed off Tom’s wacky “moments” in TV history. The first one has been edited and sped up by it’s creator for laughs!Video of the famous “Couch Episode”

Next is a short video of Tom’s views on medication and psychiatry in an interview with The Today Show’s Matt Lauer. It has been shortened by its editor to highlight Cruise’s intensity.

Another time, Cruise went on television to explain the Church of Scientology. In this single appearance, Tom managed to make himself and Scientology look strange and scary at the same time. Remakes of this interview got really weird: See this Video parody of Tom Cruise’s commitment to Scientology and decide for yourself.

Personally, I don’t think we can forget about The Couch. For me it represents one of the reasons Amercia is a fun place to live! Lighten up, Tom.

Your Fan,

PJ


Dr. Phil Show still trolling to “Bail-Out” more teens

April 26, 2008

“Are you in a high school filled with DRAMA & SCANDAL? Is your best friend sleeping with your boyfriend, do others constantly talk behind your back or did someone steal your prom date? Is your best friend failing and missing class because of drugs and alcohol during 4th period?* Are you ready to divorce your high school completely?

PLEASE RESPOND ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO

APPEAR ON TELEVISION WITH DR. PHIL.”

This is what happens when you press the Click Button on the TEENS: HAVE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA? message scrolling across the top of the Dr. Phil Official Website!

It seems that the good doctor still wants to exploit the “teens in crisis” demographic (with the exception of teens needing paternity tests ‘cuz that’s Montel’s turf). Hopefully, Dr. P won’t send out his “staff” to post bail to “get the exclusive.” Can Dr. Phil book his teen guests without making a complete ass of himself? He has a good shot if the potential guests answer this cute list of questions. Then Dr. Phil can avoid avoid knocking on the doors of jails and mental hospitals with a camera crew in tow. You’ve got to admire his tenacity (ten-ass-ity), that is.

PJ

*Note to Dr. Phil’s copy editor: I’m sure you take home a pretty sweet paycheck from the Dr. Phil Show so do not insult Dr. Phil with your poor grammar!! This sentence contains a blatant misplaced modifier unless you meant to ask if teens do drugs and alcohol during fourth period.


Dr. Phil Now is Dr. Phil Not

April 23, 2008

Children of the Compound: The Lost BoysI don’t like when the Dr. Phil show turns into Dr. Phil Now. It’s hard to stomach Dr. P as a credible, muckraking journalist. He likes to posture himself as an investigative reporter, but come on, Dr. P’s got a crack support staff of field producers and a private jet! When I can get past the sensationalism, I can appreciate the adversity that the lost boys have overcome. Time will tell if Dr. Phil will continue address this issue when a future story becomes more popular in the mainstream and tabloid press.

PJ


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